Relationship Advice

In this episode, Colter, Lauren, and Cayla explore why we latch onto birthdays and the New Year as chances to “start fresh,” and why traditional resolutions so often fall flat. They share personal stories about resolutions that worked and didn’t, and offer a more flexible approach rooted in values, season-of-life awareness, and gentle recalibration instead of all-or-nothing goals. You’ll hear practical ideas for setting individual and shared relationship intentions—like choosing a word for the year, doing a values audit, and imagining the “photo slideshow” you want to look back on next December. Main Talking Points: • Milestones as reset • Why resolutions fail • Values over goals • Couples intention talks • Season-of-life reality • Gentle self-compassion Give Me Discounts! Cozy Earth -  Black Friday has come early! Right now, you can stack my code “IDO” on top of their sitewide sale — giving you up to 40% off in savings. These deals won’t last, so start your holiday shopping today! Beducate - Use code relationship69 for 65% off the annual pass. Skylight - Use code “IDO” for $30 off your 15 inch calendar.  Function - 160+ Lab Tests for $365. Amazfit - Use Code “IDO” to get 10% off Spark My Relationship Course: Get $100 off our online course. Visit SparkMyRelationship.com/Unlock for our special offer just for our I Do Podcast listeners! If you love this episode (and our podcast!), would you mind giving us a review in iTunes? It would mean the world to us and we promise it only takes a minute. Many thanks in advance! – Colter, Cayla, & Lauren Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In this episode, we break down the pursuer–withdrawer dynamic and why partners so often misunderstand each other during conflict. We explore how our nervous systems, personal histories, and internal stories shape the meaning we make of our partner’s behavior. By slowing down and getting curious, couples can interrupt the cycle and create more connection instead of escalating disconnection. Main Talking Points • Pursuer vs. withdrawer • Meaning-making stories • Nervous system responses • Projection in conflict • Windows of tolerance • Curiosity over certainty Check Out Relationship Academy Give Me Discounts! Cozy Earth -  Black Friday has come early! Right now, you can stack my code “IDO” on top of their sitewide sale — giving you up to 40% off in savings. These deals won’t last, so start your holiday shopping today! Beducate - Use code relationship69 for 65% off the annual pass. Skylight - Use code “IDO” for $30 off your 15 inch calendar.  Function - 160+ Lab Tests for $365. Amazfit - Use Code “IDO” to get 10% off Spark My Relationship Course: Get $100 off our online course. Visit SparkMyRelationship.com/Unlock for our special offer just for our I Do Podcast listeners! If you love this episode (and our podcast!), would you mind giving us a review in iTunes? It would mean the world to us and we promise it only takes a minute. Many thanks in advance! – Colter, Cayla, & Lauren Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

RELATIONSHIP ACADEMY IS NOW ACCEPTING MEMBERS Free through the end of the year! Get access to courses and live coaching with the hosts. ⁠⁠CLICK HERE TO JOIN This episode explores the subtle but important difference between caring for someone and caretaking for them — and why crossing that line can create resentment, burnout, or dependency in relationships. The hosts break down how good intentions can accidentally enable unhealthy patterns, block growth, or strip someone of their autonomy. They also share practical examples, scripts, and mindset shifts to help you support the people you love without taking over their life or their discomfort. Caring vs. caretaking Enabling patterns Emotional discomfort Interdependence balance Healthy boundaries Comfort scripts Give Me Discounts! Cozy Earth -  Black Friday has come early! Right now, you can stack my code “IDO” on top of their sitewide sale — giving you up to 40% off in savings. These deals won’t last, so start your holiday shopping today! Beducate - Use code relationship69 for 65% off the annual pass. Skylight - Use code “IDO” for $30 off your 15 inch calendar.  Function - 160+ Lab Tests for $365. Amazfit - Use Code “IDO” to get 10% off Spark My Relationship Course: Get $100 off our online course. Visit SparkMyRelationship.com/Unlock for our special offer just for our I Do Podcast listeners! Main Talking PointsIf you love this episode (and our podcast!), would you mind giving us a review in iTunes? It would mean the world to us and we promise it only takes a minute. Many thanks in advance! – Colter, Cayla, & Lauren Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

RELATIONSHIP ACADEMY IS NOW ACCEPTING MEMBERS Free through the end of the year! Get access to courses and live coaching with the hosts. ⁠⁠CLICK HERE TO JOIN This episode explores why affairs happen even among people who genuinely value their relationships and never imagined crossing that line. The hosts break down the emotional, psychological, and relational dynamics that make secrecy, novelty, and unmet needs so compelling. They also examine how betrayal impacts identity, trust, and a couple’s shared narrative — and what healing realistically requires. MAIN TALKING POINTS Secrecy & allure Emotional rupture Unmet needs Fantasy vs. reality Identity confusion Rebuilding trust Give Me Discounts! Cozy Earth -  Black Friday has come early! Right now, you can stack my code “IDO” on top of their sitewide sale — giving you up to 40% off in savings. These deals won’t last, so start your holiday shopping today! Beducate - Use code relationship69 for 65% off the annual pass. Skylight - Use code “IDO” for $30 off your 15 inch calendar.  Function - 160+ Lab Tests for $365. Amazfit - Use Code “IDO” to get 10% off Spark My Relationship Course: Get $100 off our online course. Visit SparkMyRelationship.com/Unlock for our special offer just for our I Do Podcast listeners! If you love this episode (and our podcast!), would you mind giving us a review in iTunes? It would mean the world to us and we promise it only takes a minute. Many thanks in advance! – Colter, Cayla, & Lauren Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

RELATIONSHIP ACADEMY IS NOW ACCEPTING MEMBERS *We just answered a bunch of questions from listeners and want to answer more* Free through the end of the year! Get access to courses and live coaching with the hosts. ⁠⁠CLICK HERE TO JOIN Main Talking Points: Today we dissect a conflict that Colter and Cayla get into. Spoiler alert, it took us a couple of conversations to get back onto the same page.  We thought that this episode could be a good example of how we can disagree, rupture, and eventually repair and reconnect. Give Me Discounts! Cozy Earth -  Black Friday has come early! Right now, you can stack my code “IDO” on top of their sitewide sale — giving you up to 40% off in savings. These deals won’t last, so start your holiday shopping today! Beducate - Use code relationship69 for 65% off the annual pass. Skylight - Use code “IDO” for $30 off your 15 inch calendar.  Function - 160+ Lab Tests for $365. Amazfit - Use Code “IDO” to get 10% off Spark My Relationship Course: Get $100 off our online course. Visit SparkMyRelationship.com/Unlock for our special offer just for our I Do Podcast listeners! If you love this episode (and our podcast!), would you mind giving us a review in iTunes? It would mean the world to us and we promise it only takes a minute. Many thanks in advance! – Colter, Cayla, & Lauren Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices