Intimacy Lab

Michelle was about to interview the author of an unpublished book — until she actually read it. In this solo episode, she unpacks why she canceled, taking on the "prioritize sex twice a week no matter what" model of marriage, the quiet harm of duty sex, and what gets lost when desire becomes an obligation. Along the way: her own asexuality and responsive desire, a critique of medicalizing low libido, a Wheel of Consent plug, and one very spicy "We're Not Really Strangers" cards story.
Links to note:
Wheel of Consent free videos: https://www.wheelofconsent.org/free-videos

The Art of Receiving and Giving: The Wheel of Consent by Betty Martin and Robyn Dalzen: https://amzn.to/4ajCRTo

Like a Pro: Wheel of Consent for Professionals: https://www.schoolofconsent.org/like-a-pro

We're Not Really Strangers XXX edition: https://amzn.to/4aTaA68

Michelle sits down with menopause doula Traci Thrash (The Change Doula) for a wide-ranging, no-filter conversation about perimenopause brain fog, what pleasure actually means outside of sex, the asexual/demisexual spectrum, the Wheel of Consent, autonomy in long-term relationships, and the HRT and lifestyle tools they swear by.

Traci is a menopause doula based outside Madison, Wisconsin. She supports women in perimenopause, menopause, and midlife through 1:1 work and group programs, focusing on connection and community as much as education. Find her at https://www.thechangedoulas.com/.

Michelle Renee (she/her) is a therapeutic intimacy specialist, trained as both a Cuddle Therapist and Surrogate Partner, and a co-owner at https://Cuddlist.com. She practices a trauma-informed, consent-based approach that helps folks of all genders rebuild trust with touch, set clear boundaries, and access authentic pleasure ... at their own pace. She serves clients nationwide as a holistic intimacy coach and partners with therapists to integrate somatic, consent-based healing. Michelle's websites are ⁠https://meetmichellerenee.com⁠⁠ and ⁠https://humanconnectionlab.com⁠ and she can be found on social media at ⁠https://instagram.com/meetmichellerenee⁠.

What a "menopause doula" actually does

Why community — not just information — is what people are craving in midlife

Redefining "pleasure" and "desire" as words that don't have to mean sex

Soft Cock Week and reframing what counts as a "real" sexual experience

Michelle's story of realizing she's asexual/gray-sexual at 47

Demisexuality, gray-sexual, and "nebulosexual" — labels that helped both of them make sense of their experiences

The Wheel of Consent and why receiving a genuine "no" can be the deepest form of intimacy

Autonomy, relationship anarchy, and not needing total overlap with a partner

The "rope widow" season — staying close while pursuing very different interests

Why empowerment narratives for older women default to sex, and what's missing from that picture

HRT journeys, finding a doctor who actually listens, and favorite midlife self-care finds

Resources & Mentions

Wheel of Consent framework (Betty Martin)

Estrogen Matters — book on HRT and breast cancer risk

The Slow Moon Climbs by Susan P. Mattern — anthropological look at menopause

MIDI Health — telehealth HRT provider

Vulva Balm by Medicine Mama — for labial/vulvar dryness

Fiber gummies (Metamucil, Miralax-style) for midlife gut health

Dual-zone heated mattress pad — relationship-saving bedroom hack

If you’d like to ask a question for Michelle to answer on an episode, or you’d like to join her for an Intimacy Lab Experience, visit https://intimacylabpodcast.com.

To grab your own set of We’re Not Really Strangers https://amzn.to/47XJjvm

Become a Cuddlist Certified Touch Practitioner and save 10%: https://Cuddlist.com Use code MEETMICHELLERENEE for 10% off

A note for clients and anyone who knows me personally: This episode contains explicit sexual content and detailed personal disclosure. If you aren't sure whether to listen, don't. If you can listen with curiosity and take good care of yourself along the way, please do. You're always welcome to bring whatever comes up into our next session.

Michelle sits down with Jake Apton, a porn performer, stripper, cosplayer, and self-described "big fucking nerd" she briefly met at the AVN Expo in January but never really got to know. What starts as a tour of Jake's deeply personal tattoo collection quickly opens into a wide-ranging conversation about building a life and career in sex work, navigating identity and attraction as a gay man who "doesn't read gay," the surprising overlap between anime convention culture and adult entertainment, and what it means to reclaim your relationship with your own libido. They play a few rounds of We're Not Really Strangers, swap stories about armpits (yes, really), and land in unexpectedly tender territory about friend breakups, depression, and the people in your life who aren't "people." Those are the ones you can just sit on a couch with and not say a word. A warm, unscripted, delightfully wide-open conversation with someone Michelle barely knew before hitting record and now kind of feels like she does.

Jake Apton is a porn performer, exotic dancer, cosplayer, and content creator based in New York City. You can find all his links at https://lnk.bio/jcapwolf.

Michelle Renee (she/her) is a therapeutic intimacy specialist, trained as both a Cuddle Therapist and Surrogate Partner, and a co-owner at https://Cuddlist.com. She practices a trauma-informed, consent-based approach that helps folks of all genders rebuild trust with touch, set clear boundaries, and access authentic pleasure ... at their own pace. She serves clients nationwide as a holistic intimacy coach and partners with therapists to integrate somatic, consent-based healing. Michelle's websites are ⁠https://meetmichellerenee.com⁠⁠ and ⁠https://humanconnectionlab.com⁠ and she can be found on social media at ⁠https://instagram.com/meetmichellerenee⁠.

If you’d like to ask a question for Michelle to answer on an episode, or you’d like to join her for an Intimacy Lab Experience, visit https://intimacylabpodcast.com.

To grab your own set of We’re Not Really Strangers https://amzn.to/47XJjvm

Become a Cuddlist Certified Touch Practitioner and save 10%: https://Cuddlist.com Use code MEETMICHELLERENEE for 10% off

Michelle catches up with consent educator and DC Cuddle Club founder Jax for a free-ranging conversation that somehow covers all the bases: from Michelle's red carpet debut at the GAYVNs and a memorable sex experiment with a gay friend, to a deep-dive into the HBO show Heated Rivalry and what it unexpectedly teaches about the Wheel of Consent. The centerpiece is a gorgeous breakdown of the "listening turn" practice -- and why one scene in Episode 5 is the most perfect real-world demonstration of it you'll ever see on television. Plus: AVN aftercare products, neurodivergence and communication styles, asking for what you want in relationships, and why your micro world matters more than ever right now.

Links mentioned in this episode:
The Heated Rivarly clip: https://youtu.be/ueoxEiqqwG0?si=hw2DCtUHUY9MVZL-
Betty Martin: https://www.wheelofconsent.org/about
Dr Tush: https://drtushproducts.com/ use MEETMICHELLERENEE for 20% off
https://fan.adultentertainmentexpo.com/
Heated Rivalry on HBO: https://www.hbomax.com/shows/heated-rivalry/50cd4e99-04ee-427b-a3b4-da721ed05d9c
https://www.tryquinn.com/

Bios:
Jax (she/her) is a consent and intimacy educator, coach, and companion based in the DMV/Northeast Corridor. Her work spans erotic touch, erotic coaching, and platonic touch and cuddling. She is the founder of DC Cuddle Club, with affiliates in Atlanta and LA, and is a certified Wheel of Consent facilitator who teaches Like a Pro workshops across the country.
Find Jax:
Website: https://touchbyjax.com
DC Cuddle Club: https://dccuddleclubs.com
Instagram & Facebook: @touchedbyjax

Michelle Renee (she/her) is a therapeutic intimacy specialist, trained as both a Cuddle Therapist and Surrogate Partner, and a co-owner at https://Cuddlist.com. She practices a trauma-informed, consent-based approach that helps folks of all genders rebuild trust with touch, set clear boundaries, and access authentic pleasure ... at their own pace. She serves clients nationwide as a holistic intimacy coach and partners with therapists to integrate somatic, consent-based healing. Michelle's websites are ⁠https://meetmichellerenee.com⁠⁠ and ⁠https://humanconnectionlab.com⁠ and she can be found on social media at ⁠https://instagram.com/meetmichellerenee⁠.

If you’d like to ask a question for Michelle to answer on an episode, or you’d like to join her for an Intimacy Lab Experience, visit https://intimacylabpodcast.com.

To grab your own set of We’re Not Really Strangers https://amzn.to/47XJjvm

Become a Cuddlist Certified Touch Practitioner and save 10%: https://cuddlist.com use code MEETMICHELLERENEE

A note for clients and anyone who knows me personally: This episode contains explicit sexual content and detailed personal disclosure. If you aren't sure whether to listen, don't. If you can listen with curiosity and take good care of yourself along the way, please do. You're always welcome to bring whatever comes up into our next session.

In this episode of "The Intimacy Lab," Michelle Renee and Jamie Marich explore the intersections of intimacy, therapy, and personal growth. They discuss their experiences with EMDR, the concept of "Misfit Alley," and the importance of authenticity in both personal and professional spaces. The conversation delves into the nuances of human connection, the role of dissociation in therapy, and the evolving landscape of platonic and sexual relationships. Both hosts share personal anecdotes, highlighting the significance of energy and vibe in relationships, and the balance between independence and intimacy.

Dr. Jamie Marich (she/they) is a TEDx speaker, clinical trauma specialist, expressive artist, and recovery advocate who helps people and systems heal from trauma and shame—especially where religion or spirituality has caused harm—so they can find personalized, stigma-free transformation. Based in Akron, Ohio, Jamie teaches internationally on trauma, EMDR therapy, expressive arts, and spiritual abuse, while running a private practice and online education programs; she’s also the founder of the Institute for Creative Mindfulness and creator of the Dancing Mindfulness approach. A queer woman in long-term recovery who lives with dissociative identities, Jamie is the author of numerous books on EMDR, trauma, and recovery, and her work has been featured by The New York Times and recognized with advocacy awards from NALGAP and EMDRIA. You can find her at https://jamiemarich.com/ or on IG at https://www.instagram.com/drjamiem/

Michelle Renee (she/her) is a therapeutic intimacy specialist, trained as both a Cuddle Therapist and Surrogate Partner, and a co-owner at https://Cuddlist.com. She practices a trauma-informed, consent-based approach that helps folks of all genders rebuild trust with touch, set clear boundaries, and access authentic pleasure ... at their own pace. She serves clients nationwide as a holistic intimacy coach and partners with therapists to integrate somatic, consent-based healing.
Michelle's websites are ⁠https://meetmichellerenee.com⁠⁠ and ⁠https://humanconnectionlab.com⁠ and she can be found on social media at ⁠https://instagram.com/meetmichellerenee⁠.

If you’d like to ask a question for Michelle to answer on an episode, or you’d like to join her for an Intimacy Lab Experience, visit https://intimacylabpodcast.com.

To grab your own set of We’re Not Really Strangers https://amzn.to/47XJjvm

Become a Cuddlist Certified Touch Practitioner and save 10%: https://cuddlist.podia.com/cuddlist-certification/6dnxo?coupon=REFERRAL