Money For Couples with Ramit Sethi

Ramit Sethi of I Will Teach You To Be Rich talks to Mike and Noel, a young couple who are both 34. They married just 6 months ago, but financial fights have become a daily occurrence, even after receiving a $170K windfall. Mike blames Noel for overspending, but admits they both struggle with money, while Noel views the windfall as "guilt-free" spending. With $244K in debt, zero savings, and 82% of their income going to fixed costs, Ramit helps them uncover the root of their money woes. Will they finally get on the same page, create a financial system that works, and learn to trust each other with money? In this episode we uncover: • How Mike’s money anxiety leads him to check his bank account 20 times a day • The shocking truth about their $170K windfall • Why Mike’s anxiety worsens when he makes more money • The one money rule Mike and Noel both broke • How Mike’s upbringing shaped his money habits • Why Noel feels like she's "drowning" and has no control over their finances • The spending categories that reveal their money psychology • Why Mike's "money is mine" mentality is holding them back • Noel’s struggle to “hand over her paycheck” • The credit card debt that keeps piling up • Ramit’s radical approach to cutting fixed costs • The “Glade Plug-in” budget that explains everything • Noel’s difficult decision about tithing and faith • Why benchmarking against past mistakes is a recipe for disaster • The truth about their approach to money Chapters: (00:00:00) “We just kinda like get whatever we want whenever we want it” (00:07:02) “I was stressing more than ever before” (00:14:04) The one money rule they both broke (00:24:29) “You treat me like a child” (00:32:39) Ramit identifies their “money leaks” (00:39:34) “I don’t want to hand over my paycheck” (00:47:30) “My goals are not being met” (00:55:38) The “Glade Plug-in” budget (01:00:03) “I do wanna have a Glade budget” (01:06:50) How Mike’s upbringing shaped his money habits (01:15:10) Ramit shares his radical advice (01:21:10) Preview for part two This episode is brought to you by: Bilt | Join the loyalty program for renters at https://joinbilt.com/ramit Wispr Flow | Try Wispr Flow for free at wisprflow.ai/ramit Gelt | Book a tax consultation with Gelt at https://joingelt.com/ramit. As a member of my community, you can skip the waitlist Netsuite | Get the free guide “Demystifying AI” at https://netsuite.com/ramit Fabric by Gerber Life | Join the thousands of parents who trust Fabric to protect their family. Apply today in just minutes at https://meetfabric.com/ramit Connect with Ramit Get my new book, Money For Couples Get Money Coaching with Ramit  Download the Conscious Spending Plan Listen to my book—now on Audible Get my New York Times best-selling book Get my no-numbers journal Other episodes Instagram Twitter YouTube If you and your partner have a money issue and you want my help, I occasionally select a couple to work with, free of charge. Apply for my help here: https://iwt.com/apply

Ramit Sethi of I Will Teach You To Be Rich talks to Natalie and Chris, married with two young kids and a net worth of $1.3 million. Despite their significant assets, money remains a constant source of conflict, especially when unexpected expenses arise. Chris tends to "freak out," emotionally withdrawing and becoming zombie-like, leaving Natalie feeling alone. This pattern, which Chris describes as "catastrophizing," has intensified since their kids' expenses piled up.  Their therapist recommended they talk to Ramit, hoping to establish a financial game plan to prevent Chris's emotional collapses. Currently, 81% of their income goes to fixed costs, with 0% to savings, leading to a feeling of constant stress and no margin for error. Can Ramit help them create a financial system that provides peace of mind and allows Chris to process financial challenges with less distress? In this episode we uncover: • The unexpected source of Chris and Natalie’s referral to Ramit • How large, unexpected expenses trigger Chris’s emotional “shutdown” • Natalie’s experience of feeling isolated when Chris is financially stressed • Why having a $1.3 million net worth doesn’t alleviate their financial anxiety • The surprising reason for their elevated fixed costs and lack of savings  • The emotional impact of feeling like there’s “nothing left over” at the end of the month  • Chris’s pattern of “catastrophizing” and the fear of successive financial blows  • The core question their therapist hopes Ramit can answer  • How Chris’s upbringing influences his current financial anxieties  • The challenges of discussing money when past traumas intertwine with current stresses Chapters: (00:00:00) “Your therapist...recommended that you speak to me” (00:10:55) “Natalie, what’s your role in money?” (00:25:43) The unexpected (and huge) financial blindspot (00:36:18) Ramit discovers a massive amount of hidden money (00:45:01) “You are financially set up for life” (00:54:02) How "Red Bull wingsuit" leads to a Rich Life (01:19:20) Finding an extra $1,360/month (01:44:23) Natalie and Chris’s follow-up: “He’s at ease now” This episode is brought to you by: ZocDoc | Download the ZocDoc app for FREE at https://zocdoc.com/ramit then find and book a top-rated doctor today #sponsored  Notion | Try Notion, now with Notion Agent, at https://notion.com/ramit DeleteMe | If you want to get your personal information removed from the web, go to https://joindeleteme.com/ramit for 20% off Gusto | Try Gusto at http://gusto.com/ramit and get 3 months free when you run your first payroll Facet | Facet is waiving their $250 enrollment fee for new annual members, and for my audience, Facet is offering $300 into your brokerage account if you invest and maintain $5,000 within your first 90 days. Head to facet.com/ramit to learn more about which membership option is best for you. Offer expires March 31, 2026. #FacetAd  Connect with Ramit • ⁠Get my new book, Money For Couples⁠ • ⁠Get Money Coaching with Ramit⁠ • ⁠Download the Conscious Spending Plan⁠ • ⁠Listen to my book—now on Audible⁠ • ⁠Get my New York Times best-selling book⁠ • ⁠Get my no-numbers journal⁠ • ⁠Other episodes⁠ • ⁠Instagram⁠ • ⁠Twitter⁠ • ⁠YouTube If you and your partner have a money issue and you want my help, I occasionally select a couple to work with, free of charge. Apply for my help here: https://iwt.com/apply

Two couples take the stage with a shared question—but very different financial realities: When is “enough” actually enough to move forward? Finn and Luna built a successful pet-sitting business and now sit on hundreds of thousands of dollars—but with no clear plan for investing, homeownership, or the future. Meanwhile, Monica and Antonio earn a strong income, are completely debt-free, and yet feel paralyzed by fear as they juggle parenting, aging parents, and the possibility of purchasing a larger home. In this live episode, Ramit digs into the tension between optimism and realism, abundance and anxiety. Together, they confront inherited money stories, decision paralysis, and what it really takes to turn income into confidence—so money stops being the thing that holds them back. In this episode we uncover: • Why having “hundreds of thousands of dollars” can still feel like total financial chaos without a system • The emotional whiplash of going from paycheck-to-paycheck to sudden abundance • How Finn and Luna’s optimism vs. realism split shows up in every conversation about housing, investing, and location • Why crypto success without understanding risk creates false confidence • The real reason Luna pulled money out of investments and parked it in cash • How not knowing basic investing terms keeps progress stalled • Finn’s fear that California homeownership is a ticking time bomb • Monica and Antonio’s decision paralysis despite high income and zero debt • How generational trauma, bankruptcies, and lost homes shaped Monica’s daily money anxiety • Why Antonio believes earning more is the solution • The financial and emotional toll of supporting aging parents while raising young children • The hidden cost of being “responsible for everyone” and never prioritizing your own future • The shift from reacting emotionally to money toward making deliberate, shared financial decisions • What changes when money stops being mysterious Chapters: (00:00:00) “I’m a dreamer”—and he just wants a real plan (00:25:32) What happens when the optimizer stops optimizing at home? (00:33:01) “They gave up everything for us” (00:46:33) “We make great money—but it doesn’t feel like enough” (00:57:52) “I set the bar so high I can never win” (01:04:37) Where are they now? Both couples’ follow-ups This episode is brought to you by: Bilt | Join the loyalty program for renters at https://joinbilt.com/ramit Shopify | Sign up for a $1 per month trial period at https://shopify.com/ramit Fabric by Gerber Life | Join the thousands of parents who trust Fabric to protect their family. Apply today in just minutes at https://meetfabric.com/ramit Gelt | Book a tax consultation with Gelt at https://joingelt.com/ramit. As a member of my community, you can skip the waitlist LMNT | Get a free 8-count Sample Pack with any LMNT order at https://drinklmnt.com/RAMIT Masterclass | Get up to 50% off Masterclass during the holiday season at https://masterclass.com/ramit Links mentioned in this episode • If you want help with your finances, join my Money Coaching program at https://iwt.com/moneycoaching Connect with Ramit • Get my new book, Money For Couples • Get Money Coaching with Ramit • Download the Conscious Spending Plan • Listen to my book—now on Audible • Get my New York Times best-selling book • Get my no-numbers journal • Other episodes • Instagram • Twitter • YouTube If you and your partner have a money issue and you want my help, I occasionally select a couple to work with, free of charge. Apply for my help here.

Cheryl (67) and Michael (69) have built rich, full lives: multiple careers, reinventions, and nearly 12 years of marriage. Yet when it comes to money, they feel stuck. They earn about $120,000 a year, have roughly $600,000 saved, and regularly book $10,000–$15,000 vacations focused on travel, family, and experiences. Then, almost immediately, panic sets in. With mostly separate finances, lingering trust issues from past decisions, and no clear retirement plan, they’re embarrassed to admit that they don’t actually know when (or if) they can retire. Cheryl wants clarity and confidence about the future, while Michael wrestles with fear, guilt, and uncertainty around spending and security. Can Ramit help them stop oscillating between YOLO travel and financial anxiety, and finally create a plan that lets them enjoy life without fear? In this episode we uncover: • Why Cheryl and Michael can easily book $10K–$15K vacations, then immediately panic • How a “dream trip” exposes deeper confusion about what money they actually have access to • How Michael losing $12,000 from an inheritance investment triggered feelings of betrayal • Cheryl’s cancer survival and how living with mortality reshaped her urgency to travel, spend, and fully live now • Michael’s discomfort with seeing money as “real” unless it’s physically accessible • Why keeping finances mostly separate makes it nearly impossible to feel confident about retirement • The emotional weight of being the higher earner • How early family money stories still shape Michael’s decisions today • Cheryl’s journey from Wall Street wealth to purpose-driven work • Why spending in retirement feels scarier than earning ever did • How “YOLO travel” and hyper-frugality coexist • What their Conscious Spending Plan reveals about low fixed costs, high freedom, and misplaced fear • Why having a financial advisor still didn’t give them clarity or peace of mind Chapters: (00:00:00) “I’m just doing this for Cheryl” (00:23:13) Ramit breaks down their numbers (00:45:23) “If we’re not on the same page, it’ll be an ugly retirement” (01:08:29) “Am I worth it now—or am I still that kid asking permission?” (01:10:01) “We never talked about money when we met” (01:23:10) “If we retire now… will it feel like freedom—or fear?” (01:36:38) Where are they now? Cheryl and Michael’s follow-ups This episode is brought to you by: ZocDoc | Download the ZocDoc app for FREE at https://zocdoc.com/ramit then find and book a top-rated doctor today #sponsored Leesa | Go to https://leesa.com for 20% off mattresses PLUS get an extra $50 off with promo code RAMIT, exclusive for my listeners Factor | Get 50% off plus free shipping on your first box at https://factormeals.com/ramit50OFF with code RAMIT50OFF Facet | Facet is waiving their $250 enrollment fee for new annual members, and for my audience, Facet is offering $300 into your brokerage account if you invest and maintain $5,000 within your first 90 days. Head to https://facet.com/ramit to learn more about which membership option is best for you. Offer expires December 31, 2025. Fabric by Gerber Life | Join the thousands of parents who trust Fabric to protect their family. Apply today in just minutes at https://meetfabric.com/ramit Links mentioned in this episode • If you want help with your finances, join my Money Coaching program at https://iwt.com/moneycoaching Connect with Ramit • Get my new book, Money For Couples • Get Money Coaching with Ramit • Download the Conscious Spending Plan • Listen to my book—now on Audible • Get my New York Times best-selling book • Get my no-numbers journal • Other episodes • Instagram • Twitter • YouTube If you and your partner have a money issue and you want my help, I occasionally select a couple to work with, free of charge. Apply for my help here.

Today, we’re revisiting one of our favorite Money For Couples episodes of the year. Update: Romy and Travis recently shared an update on YouTube about where they are now. You can watch it here.  Romy and Travis’s story struck a chord with listeners because it shows what really happens when a couple is earning good money…but operating with completely different expectations, habits, and fears around money. This episode is a perfect example of how old patterns can quietly shape a relationship—and what it takes to break them. If you missed it the first time, or want a refresher, this is one of the most revealing conversations of the year. In this episode: • Why Travis believes he can always “go fishing” to make money • How their childhoods shaped their attitudes toward money • The emotional weight Romy carries as the only planner • The story behind Romy’s secret UK savings • Their unclear approach to buying property • How disorganized thinking affects everything from taxes to tipping • The risks of having no real emergency fund • Why Travis’s role as the “reassurer” holds them back • How Ramit helps them redefine generosity • The first steps toward rebuilding trust Chapters: 00:00 — “I tapped my card and it said insufficient funds” 09:23 — “I’m living the same financial life as my parents” 18:13 — Breaking down their numbers 38:14 — The weight of taking on the “man’s” role 52:48 — “I’ve been poor before—I’ll be poor again” 1:02:08 — Living on hope, not numbers 1:12:05 — “We’re doing this together” 1:28:56 — Where are they now? Romy & Travis Connect with Ramit • Get my new book, Money For Couples • Get Money Coaching with Ramit  • Download the Conscious Spending Plan • Listen to my book—now on Audible • Get my New York Times best-selling book • Get my no-numbers journal • Other episodes • Instagram • Twitter • YouTube If you and your partner have a money issue and you want my help, I occasionally select a couple to work with, free of charge. Apply for my help here.