Toddler Toolkit

Which Role Does Your Child Fall Into? (It’s Not What You Think) | Toddler Toolkit Podcast
This episode is part of a 4 Part Valentine's Series!
Episodes to be linked soon!

🎧 Episode 1 — Why Siblings and Friends Spiral Faster Together (It's not Bad Behavior)
🎧 Episode 2 — Which Role Does Your Child Fall Into? (It’s Not What You Think)
🎧 Episode 3 — Protection Without Ending Relationships (Adult leadership + boundaries) (coming soon!)
🎧 Episode 4 — Not a Bully (The moment everyone misreads)(coming soon!)
🎉New YouTube Channel🎉: @TheHeatherSchalk
"If you’re struggling with toddler tantrums and behaviors like hitting & not listening... I have a free guide for you! It’s called The Tantrum and Behavior Guide: 7 Toddler Struggles and How to Solve Them Fast—It's HERE!
In this episode, we discuss why kids fall into certain roles with siblings and friends and how these roles are nervous system adaptations, not personality traits. We identify common roles like the attention seeker, rule keeper, attuner, and fixer, and explore how parents can unintentionally solidify these roles. Learn how to interpret and manage these dynamics without labeling, and how to support healthier relationships among kids. Make sure to subscribe to Toddler Toolkit Podcast for more insights in our Valentine's series.
00:00 Introduction: Understanding Roles in Children's Dynamics
02:33 Why Roles Form Among Children
04:14 Common Roles Kids Fall Into
09:27 How Parents Reinforce Roles
11:11 Interpreting Roles Without Labels
13:26 Long-Term Impact of Early Dynamics
13:51 Conclusion and Next Steps

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"If you’re struggling with toddler tantrums and behaviors like hitting & not listening... I have a free guide for you! It’s called The Tantrum and Behavior Guide: 7 Toddler Struggles and How to Solve Them Fast—It's HERE!
Watch us Chat for the Podcast Interviews with YouTube Video HERE!

Heather has her M.Ed, and a proud Twin Mama of busy toddlers. She's the Toddler Toolkit Podcast Host, a co-author of the #1 International Best Selling Book, The Perfectly Imperfect Family & the founder of the Happy Toddler, Confident Parent Cohort and Course.  You might've tried advice tailored for one child, but that's not our journey, right? With a decade of teaching experience under her belt, she's seen it all – from toddlers to teenagers in the classroom. Now, as a parent to toddlers, she's experiencing the flip side of the coin. She's discovered a toolbox to help parents with everything toddler times two!
Let's unlock the secrets to understanding toddler behavior, preventing meltdowns, and raising intuitive, resilient children.
Grab The Tantrum and Behavior Guide: 7 Toddler Struggles and How to Solve Them Fast
Check out the Transform Tantrums: A Listening Toddler In 7 Days mini-course!
Join the Toddler Mom Community
Follow me on Instagram @heatherschalkparenting
Watch the YouTube channel
Check out the blog

Why Siblings and Friends Spiral Faster Together (It's not Bad Behavior)
🎉New YouTube Channel🎉: @TheHeatherSchalk
"If you’re struggling with toddler tantrums and behaviors like hitting & not listening... I have a free guide for you! It’s called The Tantrum and Behavior Guide: 7 Toddler Struggles and How to Solve Them Fast—It's HERE!
Ever wondered why your child acts differently with their sibling or a close friend? This episode kicks off a series that explores how children's relationships, especially with siblings and close friends, impact their behavior. It's not about bad behavior, but about their nervous systems interacting. Learn about 'sibling amplification,' why kids can spiral together, and how to support your child's emotional regulation in these relationships. Let's reframe how we view these interactions and move from focusing on behavior correction to understanding and supporting the underlying nervous system dynamics.
00:00 Introduction: Understanding Child Behavior Dynamics
00:35 The Concept of Nervous System Interactions
01:40 Exploring Sibling and Peer Amplification
02:12 Why Kids Spiral Faster Together
07:49 Managing Spirals: Separation vs. Containment
09:08 Proactive Strategies for Parents
13:31 Conclusion: Supporting Your Child's Nervous System
This episode is part of a 4 Part Valentine's Series!
Episodes to be linked soon!

🎧 Episode 1 — Amplification (How nervous systems feed off each other)
🎧 Episode 2 — Roles (Who kids become inside)
🎧 Episode 3 — Protection Without Ending Relationships (Adult leadership + boundaries)
🎧 Episode 4 — Not a Bully (The moment everyone misreads)

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"If you’re struggling with toddler tantrums and behaviors like hitting & not listening... I have a free guide for you! It’s called The Tantrum and Behavior Guide: 7 Toddler Struggles and How to Solve Them Fast—It's HERE!
Watch us Chat for the Podcast Interviews with YouTube Video HERE!

Heather has her M.Ed, and a proud Twin Mama of busy toddlers. She's the Toddler Toolkit Podcast Host, a co-author of the #1 International Best Selling Book, The Perfectly Imperfect Family & the founder of the Happy Toddler, Confident Parent Cohort and Course.  You might've tried advice tailored for one child, but that's not our journey, right? With a decade of teaching experience under her belt, she's seen it all – from toddlers to teenagers in the classroom. Now, as a parent to toddlers, she's experiencing the flip side of the coin. She's discovered a toolbox to help parents with everything toddler times two!
Let's unlock the secrets to understanding toddler behavior, preventing meltdowns, and raising intuitive, resilient children.
Grab The Tantrum and Behavior Guide: 7 Toddler Struggles and How to Solve Them Fast
Check out the Transform Tantrums: A Listening Toddler In 7 Days mini-course!
Join the Toddler Mom Community
Follow me on Instagram @heatherschalkparenting
Watch the YouTube channel
Check out the blog

What Your Toddler’s Tantrum Is Actually About
"If you’re struggling with toddler tantrums and behaviors like hitting & not listening... I have a free guide for you! It’s called The Tantrum and Behavior Guide: 7 Toddler Struggles and How to Solve Them Fast—It's HERE!
Referenced Epsiode:
-Why Your Toddler Keeps Melting Down: The Pattern You’re Missing
🎉New YouTube Channel🎉: @TheHeatherSchalk
Ever been baffled by your toddler’s sudden meltdown — even when you stayed calm, explained, and did “everything right”?
In this episode, we’re unpacking what toddler tantrums are actually about — and why so many well-intentioned strategies fail.
You’ll learn why tantrums aren’t random or manipulative, but signals from a nervous system that’s overwhelmed, disappointed, or stuck in transition. More importantly, you’ll see how aiming at the wrong problem can accidentally make tantrums worse — even when you’re trying to help.
I walk you through two powerful, real-life examples that change how you see tantrums entirely:
A sibling “sharing” struggle that isn’t about sharing at all 
A preschool shoe battle that looks like “not listening,” but is really about something else
These examples show why fixing the behavior often misses the real need — and what happens when you respond to the right problem instead.
We’ll also cover:
The most common tantrum triggers parents overlook
The one question that instantly shifts how you respond
Why teaching during a meltdown doesn’t work (and what does)
A real-life IHOP moment that shows how modeling regulation can prevent a meltdown before it starts
By the end of this episode, tantrums won’t feel so confusing — or so personal. You’ll start seeing them as communication, not misbehavior, and you’ll know how to respond in a way that actually helps your child move forward.
00:00 Introduction: Understanding Toddler Tantrums
01:14 Why Tantrums Feel So Confusing
03:49 Common Tantrum Patterns
07:02 The Question That Changes Everything
08:10 Why Teaching Doesn't Work Mid-Meltdown
09:23 Real-Life Example: The Pancake Meltdown
12:34 Changing the Pattern, Not the Moment
15:50 Conclusion and Resources
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"If you’re struggling with toddler tantrums and behaviors like hitting & not listening... I have a free guide for you! It’s called The Tantrum and Behavior Guide: 7 Toddler Struggles and How to Solve Them Fast—It's HERE!
Watch us Chat for the Podcast Interviews with YouTube Video HERE!

Heather has her M.Ed, and a proud Twin Mama of busy toddlers. She's the Toddler Toolkit Podcast Host, a co-author of the #1 International Best Selling Book, The Perfectly Imperfect Family & the founder of the Happy Toddler, Confident Parent Cohort and Course.  You might've tried advice tailored for one child, but that's not our journey, right? With a decade of teaching experience under her belt, she's seen it all – from toddlers to teenagers in the classroom. Now, as a parent to toddlers, she's experiencing the flip side of the coin. She's discovered a toolbox to help parents with everything toddler times two!
Let's unlock the secrets to understanding toddler behavior, preventing meltdowns, and raising intuitive, resilient children.
Grab The Tantrum and Behavior Guide: 7 Toddler Struggles and How to Solve Them Fast
Check out the Transform Tantrums: A Listening Toddler In 7 Days mini-course!
Join the Toddler Mom Community
Follow me on Instagram @heatherschalkparenting
Watch the YouTube channel
Check out the blog

Two Reasons Toddlers Don’t Listen (and Why Certain Strategies Fail)
Join our Free Facebook Group here.
"If you’re struggling with toddler tantrums and behaviors like hitting & not listening... I have a free guide for you! It’s called The Tantrum and Behavior Guide: 7 Toddler Struggles and How to Solve Them Fast—It's HERE!
Welcome to the Toddler Toolkit podcast! In this episode, we tackle a common frustration among parents: 'Why doesn't my toddler listen even when I'm calm?' The answer might surprise you—it's often not a listening problem but a nervous system issue. Learn why toddlers' behavior during transitions, trips, and daily routines can spark meltdowns and power struggles. We'll discuss effective strategies for handling disappointment, loss of control, and autonomy stress. By the end, you'll have practical tips for increasing cooperation and understanding your toddler's true needs. Don't forget to check out our free guide, 'The Seven Toddler Struggles and How to Solve Them Fast.' All links are in the show notes!
00:00 Welcome to Toddler Toolkit Podcast
00:11 Understanding Toddler Listening Issues
01:10 Why Not Listening Feels Personal
01:44 Common Not Listening Patterns
03:07 Dealing with Disappointment and Loss of Control
06:44 Autonomy and Transition Stress
08:02 Increasing Cooperation and Avoiding Power Struggles
09:33 Effective Transition Strategies
12:56 Conclusion and Final Tips
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"If you’re struggling with toddler tantrums and behaviors like hitting & not listening... I have a free guide for you! It’s called The Tantrum and Behavior Guide: 7 Toddler Struggles and How to Solve Them Fast—It's HERE!
Watch us Chat for the Podcast Interviews with YouTube Video HERE!

Heather has her M.Ed, and a proud Twin Mama of busy toddlers. She's the Toddler Toolkit Podcast Host, a co-author of the #1 International Best Selling Book, The Perfectly Imperfect Family & the founder of the Happy Toddler, Confident Parent Cohort and Course.  You might've tried advice tailored for one child, but that's not our journey, right? With a decade of teaching experience under her belt, she's seen it all – from toddlers to teenagers in the classroom. Now, as a parent to toddlers, she's experiencing the flip side of the coin. She's discovered a toolbox to help parents with everything toddler times two!
Let's unlock the secrets to understanding toddler behavior, preventing meltdowns, and raising intuitive, resilient children.
Grab The Tantrum and Behavior Guide: 7 Toddler Struggles and How to Solve Them Fast
Check out the Transform Tantrums: A Listening Toddler In 7 Days mini-course!
Join the Toddler Mom Community
Follow me on Instagram @heatherschalkparenting
Watch the YouTube channel
Check out the blog

Toddlers Don’t Lie — They’re Communicating  (Here’s What to Do)
"If you’re struggling with toddler tantrums and behaviors like hitting & not listening... I have a free guide for you! It’s called The Tantrum and Behavior Guide: 7 Toddler Struggles and How to Solve Them Fast—It's HERE!
Welcome to Toddler Toolkit Podcast! In this episode, we talk about why toddlers and preschoolers say 'I don't wanna go' and how they communicate distress through behavior, stories, and resistance.
We'll explore how different rules and environments can create nervous system distress in children and how parents can respond effectively.

This episode is useful for co-parents, married parents or partners with different parenting styles, grandparents, daycare transitions, and more. We will also cover five common ways toddlers communicate nervous system distress and discuss how to respond without shutting them down. Join us to learn how to better understand and support your child's behavior and meltdowns.
00:00 Welcome to Toddler Toolkit Podcast
00:03 Understanding Toddler Communication
00:16 Why Kids Say 'I Don't Wanna Go'
00:22 Nervous System Distress in Toddlers
00:48 Toddlers Don't Lie: A Deeper Look
02:04 Behavior as Communication
03:39 Five Common Ways Toddlers Communicate Distress
04:23 Avoidance as a Coping Strategy
05:19 Symbolic Communication: Making Up Stories
10:57 Fear of Being Alone: Sleep and Separation
13:05 Dysregulation at Pickup and Drop Off
14:21 Clinging to One Parent
15:20 How Not to Shut Down Your Child's Distress
17:55 Clarifying the Truth Without Teaching Fear
21:27 In Closing: Supporting Your Toddler's Communication
22:50 Resources and Next Steps
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"If you’re struggling with toddler tantrums and behaviors like hitting & not listening... I have a free guide for you! It’s called The Tantrum and Behavior Guide: 7 Toddler Struggles and How to Solve Them Fast—It's HERE!
Watch us Chat for the Podcast Interviews with YouTube Video HERE!

Heather has her M.Ed, and a proud Twin Mama of busy toddlers. She's the Toddler Toolkit Podcast Host, a co-author of the #1 International Best Selling Book, The Perfectly Imperfect Family & the founder of the Happy Toddler, Confident Parent Cohort and Course.  You might've tried advice tailored for one child, but that's not our journey, right? With a decade of teaching experience under her belt, she's seen it all – from toddlers to teenagers in the classroom. Now, as a parent to toddlers, she's experiencing the flip side of the coin. She's discovered a toolbox to help parents with everything toddler times two!
Let's unlock the secrets to understanding toddler behavior, preventing meltdowns, and raising intuitive, resilient children.
Grab the  The Tantrum and Behavior Guide: 7 Toddler Struggles and How to Solve Them Fast
Check out the Transform Tantrums: A Listening Toddler In 7 Days mini-course!
Join the Toddler Mom Community
Follow me on Instagram @heatherschalkparenting
Watch the YouTube channel
Check out the blog