Feminist Wellness

#395: What if the pain you’re experiencing is real, but the suffering you’re carrying on top of it is something you can choose to put down?

This week, I explore the Buddhist concept of the second arrow and how we often add to our own suffering through self-blame, judgment, and the stories we create about the painful things that happen in our lives. We look at the difference between honoring our pain and getting stuck in the additional suffering that keeps us disconnected from ourselves.

Get full show notes, transcript, and more information here: https://beatrizalbina.com/395

Order your copy of End Emotional Outsourcing here: https://beatrizalbina.com/book/

Follow me here: https://www.instagram.com/beatrizvictoriaalbinanp/?hl=en
Mentioned in this episode:
Join Nervous System Signals and Safety!
You understand your anxiety. You can name your triggers, trace them back, explain the whole thing. And your body still does what it does - the freeze, the brace, the exhaustion that has nothing to do with how much you slept. Working at the level where the pattern actually lives - your nervous system, your physiology - is what changes it. Signals & Safety is 12 weeks of somatic education and practice built from 20+ years of clinical training. You come out knowing why your body responds the way it does, and with the tools to meet yourself differently in the moments that used to undo you.

Check it out here: https://feminist-wellness.captivate.fm/signalsandsafety
Nervous System Signals and Safety

Tenderoni Hotline #43: Hello my love! Welcome back to the Tenderoni Hotline, our cozy corner of the Feminist Wellness podcast where I answer your most tender, honest, and heartfelt questions about healing, self-trust, and nervous system care.

In today’s episode, we’re exploring what happens when you finally find the courage to speak your truth, only to be met with defensiveness, blame, or long explanations that leave you feeling unseen and small. We’ll talk about why this happens in the body, how your nervous system perceives defensiveness as danger, and how your own body might freeze, fawn, or shut down in response. You’ll learn somatic tools to help you stay grounded in your truth, even when the person in front of you can’t meet you there.

We’ll also unpack what emotional outsourcing really means and how codependent, perfectionist, or people-pleasing habits actually live in the body. You’ll discover how your nervous system learned early on to locate safety, love, and belonging in other people’s moods or opinions, and how somatic work can gently rewire that pattern so you can begin to feel safe inside yourself again.

This conversation is tender, compassionate, and rooted in science. Because you deserve relationships where honesty feels safe, boundaries are respected, and love doesn’t require self-abandonment.

Got a question for the Tenderoni Hotline? Send it to me at: podcast@beatrizalbina.com

Order your copy of End Emotional Outsourcing here: https://beatrizalbina.com/book/

Follow me here: https://www.instagram.com/beatrizvictoriaalbinanp/?hl=en

#394: What if the thing keeping you stuck isn’t your past choices, but the way you continue to judge yourself for making them?

This week, I explore why self-compassion is such a powerful part of real change and why beating yourself up for who you used to be only creates more shame, disconnection, and stuckness. We dive into how we often reject the version of ourselves who learned survival strategies like codependency, perfectionism, and people pleasing, instead of recognizing that our past selves were doing the best they could with the tools they had.

Get full show notes, transcript, and more information here: https://beatrizalbina.com/394

Order your copy of End Emotional Outsourcing here: https://beatrizalbina.com/book/

Follow me here: https://www.instagram.com/beatrizvictoriaalbinanp/?hl=en
Mentioned in this episode:
Join Nervous System Signals and Safety!
You understand your anxiety. You can name your triggers, trace them back, explain the whole thing. And your body still does what it does - the freeze, the brace, the exhaustion that has nothing to do with how much you slept. Working at the level where the pattern actually lives - your nervous system, your physiology - is what changes it. Signals & Safety is 12 weeks of somatic education and practice built from 20+ years of clinical training. You come out knowing why your body responds the way it does, and with the tools to meet yourself differently in the moments that used to undo you.

Check it out here: https://feminist-wellness.captivate.fm/signalsandsafety
Nervous System Signals and Safety

Tenderoni Hotline #42: What happens when you finally set a boundary you've been terrified to say out loud, only to have someone ignore it completely? And how do you know when you're stuck in a victim mindset that's keeping you from creating the life and relationships you want?

In this episode, I answer two listener questions about boundaries, accountability, and nervous system healing.

First, we explore what it really means when someone walks through a boundary you've clearly communicated. If boundaries aren't meant to control other people's behavior, then what are they actually for? And what do you do next when someone shows you they aren't willing to respect your limits?

Then we dive into victim mindset as a nervous system strategy. We'll talk about why this pattern develops, how it can keep us feeling powerless, and practical ways to build more agency, responsibility, and self-trust without shame or self-blame.

Got a question for the Tenderoni Hotline? Send it to me at: podcast@beatrizalbina.com

Learn more about my courses and apply here: https://www.beatrizalbina.com/courses

Follow me here: https://www.instagram.com/beatrizvictoriaalbinanp/?hl=en
Mentioned in this episode:
Join Nervous System Signals and Safety!
You understand your anxiety. You can name your triggers, trace them back, explain the whole thing. And your body still does what it does - the freeze, the brace, the exhaustion that has nothing to do with how much you slept. Working at the level where the pattern actually lives - your nervous system, your physiology - is what changes it. Signals & Safety is 12 weeks of somatic education and practice built from 20+ years of clinical training. You come out knowing why your body responds the way it does, and with the tools to meet yourself differently in the moments that used to undo you.

Check it out here: https://feminist-wellness.captivate.fm/signalsandsafety
Nervous System Signals and Safety

#393: People pleasing can look like compassion, generosity, and care, but what happens when it comes at the cost of your own needs?

This week, I dive into why people pleasing happens, how it becomes a pattern that shapes our relationships and sense of self, and why it can leave us feeling disconnected, resentful, and overwhelmed. I explore how these habits were often brilliant survival strategies that helped us get our needs met, while also showing how they can create challenges for us as adults.

Get full show notes, transcript, and more information here: https://beatrizalbina.com/393

Order your copy of End Emotional Outsourcing here: https://beatrizalbina.com/book/

Follow me here: https://www.instagram.com/beatrizvictoriaalbinanp/?hl=en
Mentioned in this episode:
Join Nervous System Signals and Safety!
You understand your anxiety. You can name your triggers, trace them back, explain the whole thing. And your body still does what it does - the freeze, the brace, the exhaustion that has nothing to do with how much you slept. Working at the level where the pattern actually lives - your nervous system, your physiology - is what changes it. Signals & Safety is 12 weeks of somatic education and practice built from 20+ years of clinical training. You come out knowing why your body responds the way it does, and with the tools to meet yourself differently in the moments that used to undo you.

Check it out here: https://feminist-wellness.captivate.fm/signalsandsafety
Nervous System Signals and Safety