Do You F*cking Mind?

Why do we have incredible self-control in some areas of life… and absolutely none in others?

In this neuroscience episode, we break down what self-control actually is in the brain, and why it can disappear the moment stress, distraction, or emotional conflict enters the picture.

We start with a quick brain fact explaining the difference between adrenaline and noradrenaline (also known as epinephrine and norepinephrine) and how these stress chemicals activate the sympathetic nervous system and the fight-or-flight response.

Then we dive into the neuroscience of self-control:

• What self-control actually means from a brain perspective

• Why self-control is a diminishing mental resource

• How stress chemicals weaken the brain’s control systems

• The push-pull relationship between the prefrontal cortex (your control centre) and the limbic system (your emotional and impulse system)

• Why stress and anxiety can shut down the brain circuits responsible for conscious self-control

• The role of the anterior cingulate cortex in monitoring internal conflict and willpower

I also explore why self-control isn’t about learning new skills, it’s about directing yourself to do things you are already capable of doing.

Finally, we look at evidence-based ways to strengthen self-control in everyday life:

• Regulating emotions instead of suppressing them

• Re-internalising awareness and paying attention to internal conflict

• Why meditation improves self-control by strengthening attention and self-awareness

• The role of delayed gratification in reducing procrastination

• How small daily actions can train the brain to make better decisions

If you’ve ever wondered why motivation fluctuates, why stress makes discipline disappear, or how to build stronger habits, this episode explains the neuroscience behind it.

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Bonjour!

On this headnoise episode I answer three of your questions.

I cover:

How to deal with an overbearing sister who tries to act like a second parent and belittle constantly.

How to know for sure if you are on the right path after quitting uni for a different life.

How to know if you should move back with your ex, the father of your children, when your relationship is great but you are no longer in love with him AT ALL.

Thank you for sending in the questions and keep them coming!

send them to [email protected]

Danke!
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What does it ACTUALLY take to know someone?

Can you ever know a person outside of the role they play in your relationship with them?
If someone deceives you, does that mean you never really knew them in the first place?
And why does chemistry so often convince us we understand someone far more deeply than we actually do?

In this episode, I talk about the illusion of knowing and why familiarity, attraction, and emotional intensity can create a false sense of closeness.

I dive into limerence, the strange dynamics of online dating, and the way modern dating shows sell us a version of connection that looks convincing… but rarely reflects healthy love in the real world.

Let’s goooooo

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It's Voice Message headnoise day! I answer 3 of your Voice Messages you sent in!

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Head Noise: I’m Losing My Best Friend & My Partner Is 17 Years Older Than Me

In this Head Noise episode, we talk about two situations that can quietly reshape your relationships — friendship change and family judgement.

First, how do you deal with the fear of losing your best friend when they enter a new relationship?

We explore:


Why the friendship changing doesn’t mean the love is gone


How trying to control or hold on too tightly can push someone away


The difference between close and codependent friendships


Why fear can damage something that doesn’t need fixing


How to genuinely be happy for your friend when their life evolves

Then, what happens when your partner is 17 years older and your family isn’t on board?

i go into:


Learning to live with family disappointment


Why their concern often comes from protection, not rejection


The importance of keeping them in the loop


Why telling them sooner rather than later makes things easier

This episode is about allowing relationships to evolve without trying to force certainty, and learning to stay grounded even when others don’t fully understand your choices.

As always, Head Noise is about responding thoughtfully instead of reacting from fear.
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