Limerance & Why You Can't Get Them Out Of Your Head
Dr. K unpacks the intense, destabilizing experience of limerance—the obsessive, all consuming “crush” that can hijack your thoughts, emotions, and even your sense of self. He explains how limerance isn’t just infatuation, but a powerful mental state fueled by unmet needs, anxious attachment, fantasy coping, and even traits that overlap with OCD and ADHD.
Drawing on Dorothy Tennov’s classic work and his own clinical insights, Dr. K explores how limerance forms, why it can last for years, and how it alters your motivational hierarchy pushing careers, relationships, and identity into the background. He also walks through the neuroscience, attachment roots, and even the spiritual lens that frames limerance as a karmic echo. Most importantly, he offers practical strategies to ground yourself, recognize mental distortions, and re-calibrate your nervous system.
Topics include:
What limerance really is and how it differs from normal attraction
The “limer beast” that hijacks thought patterns and emotions
How childhood attachment injuries create fertile ground for limerance
Links to OCD, ADHD, and maladaptive daydreaming\
Why limerance thrives on uncertainty and fantasy, not reality
The role of the sympathetic nervous system in fueling obsession
Practical steps: reality-based thinking, therapy, nervous system regulation, and acceptance
This episode blends psychology, neuroscience, and philosophy to help you understand why limerance happens—and how to take back control from it.
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