Sex For Couples with Heather Shannon

Stuck in a sex rut? Take my free quiz to discover what could be keeping you stuck—and where to start: https://TheBetterBedroom.com
What do you do when your partner comes out as asexual and you have a high sex drive? How do you get in the mood when life feels like an endless to-do list? In this listener Q&A episode of Sex for Couples, I’m answering your questions as an AASECT Certified Sex Therapist. We explore mismatched desire, different ways to experience intimacy, and how to stay curious about your options when your sex life takes an unexpected turn.
I also discuss how hormonal changes throughout the menstrual cycle, pregnancy, breastfeeding, and perimenopause can influence libido—and why hormones aren’t the whole picture. Plus, I share my advice for building a satisfying relationship from the beginning, including talking openly about sex, maintaining your individuality, and bringing more playfulness into your connection. Whether you’re navigating a desire discrepancy or simply feeling too busy for intimacy, this episode offers starting points for less pressure and more connection.
In this episode, we cover:
Navigating a relationship with an asexual partner, including conversations about boundaries, sexual needs, and shared intimacy.
Why persistent, painful arousal deserves medical attention—and exploring the emotional needs that can accompany a desire for sex.
Making room for intimacy when you’re overwhelmed, with mental foreplay, responsive desire, and small moments of connection.
How menstrual cycles and life stages such as breastfeeding and perimenopause can affect sexual desire.
Talking about sexual preferences and giving feedback in a positive, playful way—including trying a “kissing lab.”
Keeping curiosity and attraction alive through individuality, novelty, emotional honesty, and a shared willingness to grow.

Want personalized support with your sex life or relationship? Reach out to explore coaching with me at https://HeatherShannon.co

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Podtrac - https://analytics.podtrac.com/privacy-policy-gdrp

Want your partner to take charge in bed, but struggle to actually let go? Or curious about being dominant without feeling like you’re playing a character? In this episode of Sex For Couples, AASECT Certified Sex Therapist Heather Shannon welcomes professional dominatrix and erotic leadership expert Kimi Inch to explore conscious kink, dominance and submission, and building sexual confidence through connection.
Heather and Kimi unpack why trust, self-worth, and relationship patterns can get in the way of surrender—and how to explore BDSM with more curiosity and less pressure to perform. Through real examples from her work with couples, Kimi shares how to develop an authentic dominant style, communicate sexual fantasies and boundaries, and use a verbal rehearsal to discover what excites you both before trying it in the bedroom.
Key takeaways:
Why being in charge all day doesn’t automatically make surrender easy in bed.
How trust, self-worth, and unresolved relationship dynamics can affect dominance and submission.
What subspace and Dom space can feel like—and why both partners need to let go in different ways.
How erotic leadership uses presence, responsiveness, and creativity to build connection.
How to use a kink checklist to discuss desires, boundaries, and sexual compatibility.
Why talking through a fantasy before acting it out can build anticipation and clarify what feels good.
How short play sessions, check-ins, and permission to make mistakes can take the pressure off exploring kink.

Connect with Heather:
Take the free “Why You’re Stuck in a Sex Rut” quiz
Visit Heather’s website and explore intimacy coaching

Connect with Kimi:
Visit &More for Kimi’s coaching, classes, and events
Download the free Conscious Kink Checklist

This podcast uses the following third-party services for analysis:

Podtrac - https://analytics.podtrac.com/privacy-policy-gdrp

Stuck in a sex rut? Take the free quiz at https://TheBetterBedroom.com.
Tired of the all or nothing sex cycle? Learn how to enjoy intimacy without pressure, even when your energy is running low.
If you feel like every affectionate moment needs to lead to intercourse, you might be trapped in an all or nothing sex mindset. This pattern often leaves partners feeling exhausted or disconnected, as it narrows the definition of what intimacy can be. This episode is for anyone who wants to break that cycle and find more room to breathe in their relationship.
Certified Sex Therapist and host Heather Shannon explains how to build intimacy without pressure, helping you explore diverse forms of intimacy that do not require high energy or a high libido. By shifting your focus away from the performance of intercourse, you can start reclaiming your sexual experiences and finding connection in the small, everyday moments.
Subscribe for weekly relationship insights, and comment if you have felt the pressure to perform in your own relationship.
Want Heather to be your sex and relationship coach?
Request your free consultation call here: https://calendly.com/hshann1/ignite

This podcast uses the following third-party services for analysis:

Podtrac - https://analytics.podtrac.com/privacy-policy-gdrp

In this episode of Sex For Couples, Heather Shannon talks with relationship coach Ally Iseman about non-monogamy, consensual open relationships, and how to build a sex life and relationship that's designed on purpose instead of running on autopilot. They get into why exclusivity and commitment aren't the same thing, why jealousy shows up in monogamous relationships too, and how monogamous couples can borrow the same tools non-monogamous couples use to keep things exciting.
Ally is the founder of Passport to Pleasure, offering relationship coaching and curated travel experiences for couples who want to have the conversations they don't get to have anywhere else. She and Heather talk about relationship scripts, the difference between fantasy and desire, why living together or splitting things a certain way isn't required for commitment, and why curiosity — not effort — is the real antidote to a stuck sex life.
In this episode:
Why exclusivity and commitment are not the same thing
Jealousy is an emotional experience, not a character trait — and it shows up in monogamous relationships too
The difference between a fantasy and a desire, and why you can share one without acting on it
How "relationship scripts" (living together, marriage, monogamy by default) keep couples from designing what actually works for them
Why avoiding a hard conversation with your partner is still a choice, not neutral
How non-monogamous couples build novelty and variety — and how monogamous couples can borrow the same tools
Why your sex life is supposed to change over time, and what that means for your relationship

Connect with Ally Iseman:
Website: https://www.passport2pleasure.com/
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/allyiseman
Connect with Heather:
Stuck In A Sex Rut? Take the free quiz: TheBetterBedroom.com
Work with Heather As Your Coach: https://HeatherShannon.co

This podcast uses the following third-party services for analysis:

Podtrac - https://analytics.podtrac.com/privacy-policy-gdrp

Stuck in a sex rut? Take the free quiz at https://TheBetterBedroom.com
If you've ever wondered if you're sexually repressed or inhibited, this is the eipsode for you!
Discover the signs that you're sexually inhibited, why so many people hold back sexually and what to do to become more sexually authentic and free to be yourself! Let your freak flag (or vanilla flag) fly.
Host and AASECT Certified Sex Therapist Heather Shannon goes over common patterns she sees with clients as well as her own past experiences feeling repressed and uncomfortable with sexuality.
In this episode, Heather shares practical ways to notice when you are holding back, how to talk about desires with a partner, and how to work with the parts of yourself that feel protective or ashamed.
Key topics
Sexual inhibition can show up as keeping fantasies private, staying quiet during sex, or feeling like your desires are weird or inappropriate.
A “low libido” may actually be hidden desire that has been buried by self-judgment, fear of being judged, or difficulty naming wants.
Private sexual interests, like porn fantasies, romance novels, or kink scenarios, can be a sign that part of your sexuality is not being shared with a partner.
Cultural conditioning plays a major role, including messages from family, friends, school, church, purity culture, and gender socialization.
Safety matters first. Heather notes that sexual inhibition can be tied to real concerns about unwanted attention, objectification, and sexual aggression.
Substance use during sex can be a clue that inhibition is getting in the way of pleasure and ease.

Timestamps
00:00 - What sexual inhibition is and what this episode will cover
00:31 - Signs you may be repressed or censoring yourself
05:36 - How socialization teaches people what sex is “allowed” to be
06:06 - Church, purity culture, and shame-based sexual messaging
07:03 - Sexual safety, unwanted attention, and guardedness
09:25 - Family modeling, mixed examples, and emotional risk around sex
13:36 - How civilization can lead us to exile our primal side
15:00 - Reconciling the proper self with the sexual self
16:25 - Integrating lust and emotional connection
17:24 - Using parts work to welcome the more wild parts
19:50 - How sharing desires can create intimacy and closeness
20:49 - Substance use as a sign that inhibition may be present
21:10 - Befriending the protective inner voice
21:40 - Freeing your sexuality without needing to be stereotypically wild
23:06 - How to ask for curiosity and safety from a partner
Looking for coaching? Request a free consultation with Heather:
Unlock Your Passion - Consultation Call

This podcast uses the following third-party services for analysis:

Podtrac - https://analytics.podtrac.com/privacy-policy-gdrp