Mentally Stronger with Therapist Amy Morin

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Whether you're trying to figure out how to address a problem with a friend or you're struggling to make a decision about what to do next week, thinking about a problem can be exhausting. And the more you think about solutions, the more you struggle to find an answer.

Fortunately, there's a simple strategy that can help you uncover the solution fast. Not only is it backed by science, but it's also used by engineers at companies like Amazon and Toyota. Today, I'm walking you through exactly how to run this play.

Some of the things I talk about are:

Why thinking harder actually keeps you stuck — and the surprising shift that breaks the loop fast.

The community college student who walked into class with a brightly colored rubber duck — and what happened to her grades after that.

Why engineers swear by this exact strategy when they hit a wall on a tough problem.

The cognitive psychology behind the "self-explanation effect" — and three specific things that happen in your brain the moment you start talking out loud.

How I used this play while writing The Mental Strength Playbook — when I'd been stuck on the structure for weeks.

The four-step play you can run anywhere, with any object, anytime your brain locks up.

Why this strategy works just as well for tough boundary conversations and tangled family decisions as it does for work problems.

The two mistakes that wreck this play — plus one pro tip for when you can't talk out loud in a shared space.

Related Episodes ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

106 — Get Instant Stress Relief by Gaining Psychological Distance from Your Problems

⁠258 - 7 Sneaky Mindset Traps Draining Your Mental Strength (And How to Stop Them)

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Want to be mentally stronger today? Buy The Mental Strength Playbook.

Take a quick look around your home. How many piles of mail are sitting on the counter? How many clothes are in your closet that you haven't worn in two years? How much stuff is shoved in the garage, the spare room, or the storage unit you're still paying $200 a month for?

Most of us are drowning in stuff, and it's costing us more than we realize. The research is clear that clutter drains your energy, fragments your attention, and quietly raises your stress levels every single day. But it doesn't stop there. Clutter eats up your weekends, strains your relationships, and keeps you tethered to a version of yourself you've already outgrown. And the worst part is that buying more bins or spending another Saturday cleaning rarely fixes it.

My guest today is Faith Roberson, an organizing expert and author of What Stays and What Goes. She believes clutter isn't actually a discipline problem at all. It's an emotional one. And once you understand what's really keeping you stuck, letting go gets a whole lot easier.

Some of the things we discuss are:

Why clutter is almost never about laziness or discipline (and what it actually is)

The "emotional tagging" exercise that reveals what your stuff is really doing to you

How holding on to old belongings keeps you stuck in an identity you've outgrown

Why "does it spark joy?" isn't enough, and the better question to ask

The myth that selling your stuff is worth the time it takes

How to handle sentimental items without feeling like you're betraying someone you love

The three types of boundaries that determine whether your home actually feels like home

Why your stuff is probably worth a lot less than you think (and why that's good news)

The simple question to ask before keeping anything: can I actually care for this?

How clearing your space creates room for the person you're becoming next

Subscribe to ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Mentally Stronger Premium⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ for exclusive content like weekly bonus episodes, mental strength challenges, and office hours with me.

Related Episodes ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

104 — What Your Sentimental Keepsakes Reveal About Your Self-Worth

40 — The Minimalists: Why You Should Declutter Your Life with Joshua Fields Millburn

Links & Resources

⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠What Stays and What Goes⁠

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Pre-order a copy of ⁠The Mental Strength Playbook⁠.

Have you ever rewritten an email five times before hitting send because you keep telling yourself it's not quite right? Or beaten yourself up over something you said and convinced yourself you've ruined everything? That's your inner critic .

We all have one—and while that little voice is meant to protect you, it can easily get in the way of thinking, feeling, and doing your best.

Fortunately, you don't have to silence it. There's a simpler play that takes the power out of that voice almost instantly.

Some of the things I talk about are:

The story of how my inner critic almost talked me out of doing something important this past week

Why your inner critic isn't actually trying to ruin your life (and what's really going on)

The fascinating research on writers with imposter syndrome who became more productive simply by naming the voice in their head

The psychological concept of "self-distancing" and why it helps you make better decisions, regulate emotions, and take action even when you're scared

A 3-step play for naming your inner critic

The critical pitfall to avoid when naming your inner critic

Why the goal isn't to eliminate that voice—it's to stop letting it run your life

Related Episodes ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

128 — 5 Ways to Deal with Negative Thoughts So You Can Train Your Brain to Become Mentally Stronger

284 — Overthinking? Here’s the 3-Word Fix You Need to Stop the Spiral

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MUDWTR - Get up to 43% off your entire order, plus free shipping and a free rechargeable frother when you use code STRONGER at ⁠⁠⁠⁠Mudwtr.com⁠⁠⁠⁠.

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The Mental Strength Playbook is out now. Order your copy today.

Do you have someone in your life who only calls when they need something? Maybe it's the relative who always goes from one crisis to the next, the friend who vents for an hour and never asks how you're doing, or the coworker who treats you like their personal therapist.

You care about them but you feel drained by them too. Fortunately, you can show real empathy while also setting boundaries. And this might be the best thing for both you and the other person.

My guest today is Dr. D. Ivan Young, a master certified coach and empathy expert. His new book is Leading from the Heart, and in this conversation he breaks down how to show up for the people you love without losing yourself in the process.

Some of the things we discuss are:

Why "putting on a brave face" is actually a performance — and what it's costing you

The drowning analogy that finally makes the difference between sympathy and empathy make sense

How to call out the elephant in the room before a tense meeting (and why it instantly changes the dynamic)

The "come alongside" rule that can help you start a conversation without triggering a fight

What to say to a friend going through something you've never experienced yourself

Why open-ended questions are more powerful than any advice you could give

The "cupcake and a candle" ritual for when you need to feel your feelings and move on

How to tell if you're empowering someone or quietly enabling them

What to do (and not say) when a neighbor or coworker is grieving

The uncomfortable truth about why the same kind of person keeps showing up in your life

Subscribe to ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Mentally Stronger Premium⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ for exclusive content like weekly bonus episodes, mental strength challenges, and office hours with me.

Related Episodes ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠


⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠286 — 3 Sentences That Will Turn Any Argument Into a Productive Conversation ⁠

⁠218 — 3 Steps to Building Boundaries That Stick So You Can Reclaim Your Time and Energy

Links & Resources

⁠⁠⁠⁠Leading From the Heart

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First Day - Use code STRONGER to get up to 57% Off at ⁠FirstDay.com⁠

MUDWTR - Get up to 43% off your entire order, plus free shipping and a free rechargeable frother when you use code STRONGER at ⁠⁠⁠⁠Mudwtr.com⁠⁠⁠⁠.
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Pick up a copy of ⁠The Mental Strength Playbook⁠.

Have you ever rehearsed an uncomfortable conversation in your head over and over again? Maybe you want to ask for a raise, address something that hurt your feelings, or share bad news—but you keep running the words on a loop, hunting for the perfect way to say it.

While we like to practice, rehearsing isn't actually helping. It's worrying in disguise. Today, I'm sharing three plays that work a lot better, so you can stop dreading the conversation and find the courage to actually have it.

Some of the things I talk about are:

The webinar I almost got roped into—and how I finally spoke up after weeks of staying quiet.

Why rehearsing a conversation in advance often backfires and keeps you stuck.

How "Flip the Script" stops your brain from treating the worst-case scenario like a prediction.

Why generic affirmations like "you'll do great" don't work—and what to use instead.

How to create a statement that works for you when the pressure is on.

The play that takes the hardest part of a tough conversation and moves it to your prep phase.

What to do when you've waited too long to raise an issue and it feels too late to speak up.

Why you don't have to feel 100% ready to walk into the room.

Related Episodes ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

⁠308 — Pause. Pick. Play. The Formula for Getting Through Any Hard Moment


⁠168 — Navigate Uncomfortable Conversations with Confidence

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Sponsors

MUDWTR - Get up to 43% off your entire order, plus free shipping and a free rechargeable frother when you use code STRONGER at ⁠⁠⁠Mudwtr.com⁠⁠⁠.

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