No need for Prince Charming

When Maree came on to record, she had just had her very first IUI. She was 35, freshly into treatment, overwhelmed by the scan schedule, quietly terrified, and moving back in with her parents to make it financially possible. We recorded Part 1 that day.

Then we waited.

Part 2 picks up on the other side — after two unsuccessful IUIs, a full IVF cycle with PCOS that produced 29 eggs and four embryos, a frozen transfer that worked on the first attempt, and the arrival of Ellena via a planned maternal-assisted caesarean. Maree pulled her own daughter out. She cut the cord herself.

In between, she navigated a lot. Fibroids that grew significantly during IVF and were monitored throughout pregnancy. An anterior placenta that meant she barely felt Ellena move until 26 weeks. Nausea so constant and all-consuming that she didn't show until very late — the hospital receptionist didn't believe she was there for a caesarean. Tongue tie, silent reflux, and a Tresilian residential stay that changed everything. And a hip dysplasia diagnosis — DDH — that her maternal health nurse picked up at two weeks, and that her paediatrician almost let slip through. Ellena is currently in a Rhino brace. She's also, by all accounts, obsessed with the nine-year-old next door who has decided that Ellena is her cousin and introduces her as such to everyone she meets.

Maree works in disability support, lives with her parents in regional New South Wales, has ankylosing spondylitis managed by immunosuppressant medication, and came to this whole thing alone — no partner, no previous solo mum in her circle, just a childcare worker who remembered a mum she worked with in 2010 who had done it this way, and quietly filed it away.

This episode will resonate deeply for women at the very beginning of this journey. And for the women who are already in it.

In this episode:

Growing up in childcare and knowing motherhood was always the plan — but never meeting anyone

A solo mum of twins at her childcare centre in 2010 planting a seed that never went away

PCOS, fibroids and ankylosing spondylitis — discovering her health picture only after starting fertility investigations

Choosing City Fertility for their transparency, the Adam app, and accessible pricing

Navigating CMV-negative donor requirements and genetic carrier matching — a pool within a pool

The counselling session that changed how she thought about overseas versus local donors

Two IUI cycles — painful, unsuccessful, and the moment she said enough

An IVF cycle just before Christmas: 29 eggs, four embryos, OHSS, and a green whistle egg retrieval she was awake for

A frozen transfer in January — positive on first attempt, testing every day for three weeks regardless

Fibroids monitored throughout pregnancy, anterior placenta, barely feeling movement until 26 weeks

A planned maternal-assisted caesarean — and why having some control back made all the difference

Tongue tie, nerve pain, and the lactation journey that ended in formula — and peace

A Tresilian residential stay she almost refused — and the silent reflux diagnosis that transformed their nights

Hip dysplasia (DDH): picked up at two weeks, nearly dismissed at 16 weeks, confirmed by X-ray at four months

Living with her parents, building a village from scratch, and finding another local solo mum through the SMS Facebook group

Plans for a second child — and why Ellena having a full genetic sibling matters to her

Key Takeaways:

Get your fertility tests done before you think you need them — PCOS and fibroids are often only discovered when you start looking

CMV status affects your donor pool significantly — ask your clinic about this early

The fertility counselling session is not a gate check — it's genuinely useful, particularly around donor sibling connections and overseas vs local donors

A green whistle egg retrieval (awake, no general anaesthetic) is becoming more common — ask your clinic about your options

Maternal-assisted caesarean is an option worth knowing about — you can be the first person to hold your baby, even in theatre

Silent reflux doesn't always present with vomiting — constant feeding, gasping and poor sleep can be the signs

Hip dysplasia (DDH) in newborns: ultrasounds can miss it in wriggly babies. Push for an X-ray referral if you have any concerns

Don't cancel the specialist appointment just because a paediatrician says it's fine — trust your instincts and get the second opinion

Moving home temporarily is a practical, sensible, brave choice

This episode is brought to you by City Fertility
As a No Need for Prince Charming listener, you're eligible for an exclusive 20% discount on fertility services at any City Fertility clinic. Claim your discount here.

TTC or pregnant and looking for your village?
The Bump Membership is a private WhatsApp community and fortnightly Zoom connection calls for solo mums-to-be across Australia and New Zealand. Join here.

Part 2: 160 Days, and Then Home
Trigger warning: This episode discusses premature birth, NICU and neonatal medical procedures.

Missed Part 1? Start with S5:E11 — Luce's IVF journey, multiple losses, and the night her membranes ruptured at 22 weeks.

Gabe was born at 10:35am on a Wednesday morning, weighing 598 grams. He was 30 centimetres long. He came out flat and silent, and a team of eight people swooped in immediately. Luce didn't know he was a boy for five full minutes.

By quarter past twelve, she was in a wheelchair going upstairs to meet him.

What followed was 160 days in hospital — first at Mercy Hospital for Women in Melbourne, then a transfer to the Royal Children's Hospital for specialist ventilation and heart surgery, and then back to Mercy, and finally, finally, home.

Luce is a critical care nurse. She understood the ventilator settings. She could read the infusion charts. She knew what the numbers meant. And she will tell you, plainly, that none of that made it easier. It just changed how she processed the information.

In Part 2, she takes us through all of it — the five brutal first weeks, the patent ductus arteriosus that needed three rounds of Panadol before surgery was the only option left, the jet ventilator that finally stabilised his lungs, the retinopathy checks she couldn't watch, the first skin-to-skin cuddle, the first bath, the first time the whole family came in together. And the day, 160 days after he was born, that she drove him home.

Gabe is now a few months old in corrected age. He came home on oxygen. He is nearly off it. He has big cheeks and tape on his face and Luce is planning his autumn photo shoot.

She calls him her screaming one. You can hear him in the background near the end of the episode.

He made it.

In this episode:

The birth at 24 weeks — what happened in the room, and the five minutes before Luce knew she'd had a boy

Gabe's first hours — intubated, on a ventilator, wrapped in bubble wrap, and brought over to meet his mum

The first five weeks — infection, ventilation challenges, blood transfusions, and constant up and down

Patent ductus arteriosus — what it is, why it mattered, and the bedside heart surgery that changed everything

Transfer to the Royal Children's Hospital for a jet ventilator — and the 2am crisis she'd told them not to call her about unless it was dire

The milestones that matter in NICU — extubation, CPAP, high flow, low flow, open cot, first bath, first clothes

Retinopathy of prematurity — the eye checks Luce couldn't watch, and why early monitoring matters

Pumping, sleep, driving an hour each way, and learning to leave the hospital to protect her own mental health

How she managed mental health through IVF and NICU — including low-dose antidepressants and a counsellor she plans to return to

The Gabe Gazette — how sharing publicly became both a coping mechanism and a gift for him to read one day

Home at 160 days, on overnight oxygen, nearly off it, with a pediatrician and respiratory specialist and the autumn light waiting

"While you're alone — you're not alone."

 

This episode is brought to you by City Fertility
If you're exploring fertility treatment as a solo mum in Australia, City Fertility offers an exclusive 20% discount for No Need for Prince Charming listeners. nClaim your discount here

 

Pregnant solo and looking for support?
The Expecting Solo course helps you navigate early pregnancy on your own terms — from managing symptoms to setting boundaries and finding the joy in your story. Live group sessions or on demand, from anywhere in the world. Find out more here

 

Key Takeaways

Having medical knowledge changes how you receive information in a NICU setting — it doesn't make it easier emotionally

Setting boundaries with hospital staff about when to call is okay — and sometimes essential for your mental health

Getting out of the hospital — fresh air, dinners, watching the grand final with your dad — is not abandoning your baby. It's survival

Proactive mental health support through IVF and NICU isn't optional — address it before you're in crisis, not after

The NICU community — other parents, nurses, peer support workers — is one of the most unexpected sources of strength

The Little Miracles Foundation offers peer support specifically for NICU families in Australia

Sharing your journey publicly, on your own terms, can be cathartic and protective — it keeps people informed without you having to repeat yourself

If your friend has a baby in NICU, don't ask what you can do. Just do something — bring food, do laundry, show up

Trigger warning: This episode discusses perinatal loss, pregnancy after loss, premature birth.

Some stories hold grief and joy in the same hands. Gemma's is one of them.

Gemma is the youngest of three sisters, from one of those enormous, chaotic, deeply close families — her mum one of eleven, Gemma one of twenty-something first cousins, Christmases that required crowd control. Motherhood was never a question. The path to it just looked nothing like she expected.

She started IVF at 40 through City Fertility with Dr David Wilkinson, following a PCOS diagnosis that had been quietly there for years, masked by the pill she'd been on since her teens for her skin. Her first cycle gave her three embryos. Her second transfer was successful. She was pregnant, and everything seemed fine — until the 20-week scan.

Her first little boy, Thomas, had severe intrauterine growth restriction. He was measuring below the first percentile. She knew in her gut from that day that it wasn't going to end the way she hoped. A month of additional scans confirmed it — he was no longer going to survive. That weekend, while Gemma was at the beach with her mum and sister, Thomas quietly let go. She was induced at the Monash that Monday, and he was born on the 10th of March 2023. She named him Thomas — her papa's name.

She talks about all of it. The grief. The immediate instinct to do another egg collection while her eggs were still viable. A third cycle that produced over thirty eggs and no embryos. A fourth cycle that produced one. And then, in March 2024, the transfer of the very last embryo from that very first cycle — the one that had been frozen alongside Thomas — that became Henry.

Henry was born via emergency caesarean at 34 weeks, weighing 1.512 kilograms. He spent 37 days in special care. He came home for Christmas. He is now 15 months old, has just started walking, and recently fell off the climbing equipment at daycare head first.

Gemma says she wouldn't change any of it.

In this episode:

Growing up in a huge close-knit family, always knowing motherhood was part of the plan

A PCOS diagnosis at 38 — and how she'd been masking the symptoms with the pill for years

Negotiating paid parental leave with her employer — and why it's worth having the conversation

IVF at 40 with Dr David Wilkinson: one cycle, three embryos, pregnant on the second transfer

The 20-week scan that changed everything — and trusting her gut when her body told her something was wrong

Losing Thomas to severe IUGR, the weekend at the beach, and delivering him on the 10th of March

Going straight back to Dr Wilkinson — and the third cycle that produced thirty-plus eggs and zero embryos

A fourth cycle, one embryo, and then the transfer that became Henry

The full-circle moment: Henry and Thomas were from the same egg collection, frozen on the same day

The donor who agreed to do a blood test for genetic testing during Thomas's pregnancy — and what that meant to Gemma

Pregnancy after loss: weekly scans, a private obstetrician, a perinatal psychiatrist, and monitoring her blood pressure daily

The emergency caesarean at 34 weeks — and why the decision took about five seconds

37 days in special care, expressing, the decision to move to formula, and six months living with Mum in the country

Henry at 15 months: walking, co-sleeping, an early riser, and absolutely besotted with by everyone who meets him

Key Takeaways:

PCOS is often masked by the pill — if you have symptoms and are thinking about your fertility, ask your GP for an AMH test

It's worth having an honest conversation with your employer about paid parental leave — don't assume what isn't available

Trust your gut during pregnancy. Gemma knew before the scans confirmed it. That instinct matters

Pregnancy after loss requires its own support team — a private OB, a perinatal psychologist or psychiatrist, and regular monitoring are not luxuries

Formula is not failure. It can be the decision that saves your mental health

Moving home temporarily is a practical and wise choice — not a step backwards

Genetic testing after loss can give you important information — and clarity — for future transfers

This episode is brought to you by City Fertility
Did you know City Fertility has their own sperm bank — ADDAM — with no waiting times and a wide selection of donors? Download the Adam app or visit atomdonorbank.com.au to begin your search. And as a No Need for Prince Charming listener, you're eligible for an exclusive 20% discount on fertility services at any City Fertility clinic. Claim your discount here.

TTC or pregnant and looking for your village?
The Bump Membership is a private WhatsApp community and fortnightly Zoom connection calls for solo mums-to-be across Australia and New Zealand. Join here.

The Long Road & the Night Everything Changed
Trigger warning: this episode discusses pregnancy loss and premature birth.

This is a two-part episode. Part 1 ends at the birth. Part 2 — the NICU journey and life now — drops next week.

Some stories you have to tell in two parts. Lucia's is one of them.

Luce is a nurse based in regional Victoria who froze her eggs at 36, made the decision to go solo shortly after, and then spent the next four years navigating one of the most complex IVF journeys I've heard on this podcast. Four egg collections. Multiple transfers. Multiple losses. A late endometriosis diagnosis that may have changed everything. And finally — on the most chaotic, stressful, nothing-going-right transfer day imaginable — the embryo that stuck.

What happened next nobody could have predicted.

Luce got to 22 weeks before noticing spotting one evening. She messaged her midwife friend. She messaged her obstetrician. She drove herself to the appointment the next morning, convinced it was nothing. And within hours she was in an ambulance, lights and sirens, being transferred to a tertiary hospital in Melbourne — four centimetres dilated, membranes visible, 22 weeks pregnant with the baby she had spent four years trying to have.

What follows — the week-by-week countdown in hospital, the handouts for each gestational age, the conversation about resuscitation at 22 weeks that no one should have to have alone — is one of the most honest, clear-eyed accounts of premature birth I've heard from a solo mum.

Luce is a nurse. She asked for the facts. She made the hardest decisions she could with the information she had. And she shares every part of it here, without flinching.

In this episode:

Growing up in regional Victoria, training as a nurse and paramedic, and spending her 30s building a career while her friends got married

Freezing her eggs at 36 after watching friends navigate fertility challenges — and giving a relationship a deadline

Making the decision to go solo, finding City Fertility, and choosing a donor

Her first transfer — a positive, a heartbeat, and then a missed miscarriage at nine and a half weeks

Three subsequent transfers, multiple early losses, and the decision to do a second egg collection

Changing specialist to Dr David Wilkinson and trying new protocols — including PRP treatment

A third and fourth egg collection, endo discovered via laparoscopy, and her best-ever collection of 47 eggs at 40

Nine embryos, three normal on PGT-A testing — and all three failing to implant

The chaotic final transfer — stuck in traffic, blood pressure through the roof — and the embryo that finally stuck

Getting to 22 weeks, spotting, and the morning that changed everything

Ambulance transfer to Melbourne, four centimetres dilated, and the conversation about resuscitation at 22 weeks

Counting the hours each week in hospital — and what it means to get to the next handout

Next week: Part 2 — the NICU journey and life now.

Exploring fertility treatment as a solo mum in Australia?
City Fertility offers an exclusive 20% discount for No Need for Prince Charming listeners. Claim your discount here.

TTC or pregnant and looking for your village?
The Bump Membership is a private WhatsApp community and fortnightly Zoom connection calls for solo mums-to-be across Australia and New Zealand. Join here.

 

Key Takeaways

IVF timelines are unpredictable — building an emotional support system separate from your fertility clinic is not optional, it's essential

Endometriosis is vastly underdiagnosed; if you have painful or heavy periods and are struggling with implantation, it's worth asking your specialist about a laparoscopy

PGT-A tested embryos do not guarantee success — the science is still evolving and unexplained implantation failure is real

Having a medical background doesn't protect you from the emotional weight of this journey — it just changes how you process information

Knowing your why before you need to make hard decisions matters. Luce had thought through her values long before she needed them.

A private obstetrician for a high-anxiety pregnancy is not a luxury — it's mental health support as much as medical care

Why Making the Decision is the Hardest Part — with Carrie Meckler

This is a different kind of episode.

No birth story. No IVF timeline. No newborn update. Just a conversation about the stage that doesn't get talked about nearly enough — the one before any of that happens.

Carrie Meckler is a licensed therapist based in North Carolina who is also a solo mum by choice to a beautiful two-year-old boy. She runs a six-week group program specifically for women in the considering stage, and she joins me this week to talk about what she sees in her clients — and what she went through herself — when women are first sitting with the idea that this might be their path.

Because here's the thing: making this decision is genuinely the hardest part of the entire solo motherhood journey. Harder than the fertility treatment. Harder than the newborn phase. And almost nobody talks about that.

We cover a lot of ground in this conversation — the grief that comes with letting go of the life you always thought you'd have, the fear of judgment, the pressure of the biological clock, the question of how long to keep waiting, and what it actually looks like to start taking steps forward without having it all figured out.

We also talk about something I think about a lot: why so many women base their assumptions about solo motherhood on single-parent households that came about through very different circumstances. And why finding women who are already living this life intentionally is one of the most important things you can do when you're in the considering stage.

This one is for the woman who's been sitting quietly with an idea she hasn't told anyone about yet.

In this episode:

Why the considering stage is the most underrated — and most emotionally demanding — part of the solo mum journey

The grief of letting go of the traditional path, and why it's normal to feel both grief and excitement at the same time

Fear of judgment, fear of running out of time, fear of missing the partner who might be just around the corner

Why we can't make the decision by the same framework we were raised with — and how to start seeing a different path

The difference between solo mum by choice and single motherhood by circumstance — and why it matters for your mindset

The power of finding women already living this life and letting their reality replace your assumptions

Carrie's three pieces of advice for anyone just starting to sit with the idea

Why handwritten journaling is different from typing — and what it unlocks

How therapy helps — and why finding a therapist who has actually lived this experience makes all the difference

Why all the overthinking you're doing right now is actually making you a better parent

Key Takeaways

The considering stage is emotionally the hardest part of this journey — and you don't have to rush through it

You can feel grief and excitement at the same time. Both are real. Both are valid.

You don't have to be ready before you take the first step. You just have to take the first step.

Finding women who are already living this life intentionally is one of the most powerful things you can do right now

The overthinking you're doing is not a problem — it's evidence of how intentional a parent you're already going to be

Solo motherhood by choice is fundamentally different from single parenthood by circumstance — and your frame of reference matters

Solo vs single: intention and conception are everything

🏥 This episode is brought to you by City Fertility

Exploring fertility treatment as a solo mum in Australia? City Fertility offers an exclusive 20% discount for No Need for Prince Charming listeners. Claim your discount here.

 

💛 Still in the considering stage?

The Considering Solo Motherhood course will help you make an empowered, informed decision about whether this path is right for you — without spending hours lost in a Google vortex. Live or on demand, from anywhere in the world. Learn more here.