The Harry Hill Show

In the final episode before our summer break, we're joined by Bob Mortimer's co-host, comedy royalty, Paul Whitehouse.

Paul who gets sniffed, interrogated, and thoroughly background-checked by a passive-aggressive AI bot with opinions about Rick Stein—alongside Bat Conservation Trust director Joe Nuñez-Miño for an hour of sketch-show mega-nostalgia, dodgy fishing anecdotes, and enough vampire bat trivia to ruin Halloween forever.

If you've ever wanted to hear a bat expert calmly explain that echolocation is actually a bat's expensive last resort behind perfectly good eyesight, or witness Harry's own AI son get tased with a homemade "Swiss Army taser" made from a nine-volt battery before the theme tune's even finished, listen up.

00:01 – Steve Bartlett's Diary of a CEO02:47 – Licky Learns the Hard Way What a Taser Tastes Like03:08 – Welcoming Paul Whitehouse

04:06 – Retirement Pods, Coffins, and the Case for Downsizing Into the Garden

06:04 – A Solemn Tribute to Ted, the Gone Fishing Dog Who Never Cared About Anyone

07:43 – A Heron Impression Decades in the Making, Featuring Isaac Walton

09:08 – Salmon Spearing, Feargal Sharkey, and a Rare Moment of Actual Politics

10:11 – Sarah the AI Bot

11:34 – Harry's Boyhood Fishing Career: Zero Fish, Infinite Trauma

12:22 – Sarah Reveals Paul's Dad Worked for the Coal Board and His Mum Sang Opera, Somehow Producing Paul

13:11 – Les Dennis Gets Decked by Bob Mortimer in a White-Collar Boxing Ring

14:22 – Paul's Mum Left School at Fourteen, Which Somehow Leads to a Welsh Choir Tangent

15:19 – Paul's Mum's Voice Turns Up on a Gone Fishing Recording and Everyone Loses It Slightly

16:33 – Harry Enfield Plays Harry Hill With a Bald Cap and Weaponised Tear Ducts

18:36 – Peter Fincham's Terrible Beatles-and-Stones Covers Band Staring Down Gary Barlow

20:19 – Sarah Digs Up a Punk Band Called The Right Hand Lovers

21:26 – Paul Firmly Denies Ever Squatting, Actually Worked for Enfield Council

22:34 – Five Years as a Plasterer, Which He Genuinely Enjoyed

23:44 – Paul Goes Mute for Five Weeks at School, Returns Speaking Full Mockney

24:59 – Sarah Wraps Up With The Fast Show, Gone Fishing, and Playing Argus Filch

28:39 – Turning Down a Twix on Account of Type 2 Diabetes

29:45 – Defending The Fast Show's Famously Rubbish Title

30:18 – A Clause 28 Joke Delivered Entirely in Character as Loadsamoney

31:19 – Pitching Cartoons to the BBC and Mourning the Death of Sketch Comedy

32:51 – Johnny Vegas Texts Paul About a Whiskey Galore Remake and a Sketch Called Heroin Galore

33:39 – Why Broadcasters Will Fund Any Drama But Basically No Sketch Show

34:44 – A Fake Telethon Called Charity Innovatathon Featuring Trevor McDonald and a Liz Truss Coin Collection

37:40 – Theme of the Week: Bats, With Actual Expert Joe Nunes-Mino

39:04 – What Is a Bat, Actually? 1,500 Species and Counting

39:43 – The UK Has 18 Bat Species, One of Which Is Just Three Individuals Who Might Not Even Live Here

40:32 – Dracula Jokes, and a Firm Reminder That Spiders Are Not Insects

42:18 – Bat Sex Explained: Stored Sperm All Winter, Then an October Decision

43:08 – Maternity Roosts Operate a Strict No-Males Policy

44:02 – Horseshoe Bats Give Birth Upside Down and Catch the Baby Themselves

44:40 – Bats Apparently Need Flying Lessons Too, Courtesy of the UK's Bat Carer Network

45:51 – Myth Busted: Bats Can See Perfectly Well and Echolocation Is Just Expensive Shouting

47:54 – No, Bats Do Not Make Good Pets, Cue the Inevitable Vampire Bat Questions

48:19 – Vampire Bats Snack on Cattle Hooves and, Apparently, Sea Lions

49:14 – Some Bats Live to 41, Which Is Longer Than Most Marriages on This Podcast

50:24 – All UK Bats Are Protected By Law, So Please Stop Trying to Eat Them

52:14 – The National Bat Helpline 54:48 – Gary's Joke Corner

57:00 – Butterfly in Blue Jeans
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In this week’s episode of the Podscarf, we welcome legendary music producer Rick Rubin—who accidentally ruins our viewer retention stats before getting violently dragged off set—alongside Radio 1 DJ Melvin Odoom and Southwark Borough Fire Commander Daniel Capon for an hour of pure, unadulterated legacy media chat and safety protocols.

If you've ever wanted to hear a group commander explain why you should never, under any circumstances, throw a bucket of water on a kitchen oil fire, or witness an adult man explain a legendary schoolyard Desmond’s impression that culminates in a smelly finger, listen up.

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00:04 – Rick Rubin's Creative Process
01:37 – Analyzing the Podscarf Stats: The Sudden Rick Rubin Retraction Dip
02:27 – The Irish vs. Ghanaian Apostrophe Scandal with Melvin Odoom
02:49 – Radio 1 Live Lounge Lore: Chilling out with an Enigmatic Harry Styles
03:54 – Cantaloupe Melon Sugar: Harry Admits He Is Way Too Old for Current Music
04:44 – Licky the Mascot Debuts an Elaborate Swiss Army Taser Dance
05:58 – Selling Nine-Volt Batteries and Homemade Shock Equipment for £20
06:31 – Misidentifying Greg Wallace and Stalking the Aisles of Home Bargains
07:27 – Buying Eight-Foot Teddy Bears and Massive Boxes of Chewing Gum
08:03 – CDJs vs. Vinyl: Embracing the Technical Demise of Creative Revenue
09:29 – Sarah the AI Bot Offers a Fork Bump and Wants to Kiss Your FM
10:10 – Biographies of North London: From Cricklewood to Seven Sisters
11:06 – Minoring in Apple Trees: Learning How to Plan Content at Bedfordshire
11:56 – A-Level Acting Failures, Clearing, and Stanning Trevor Nelson
12:29 – Harry’s Trendy Habits as a Six Music Dad Who Secretly Listens to Gold
13:15 – Student Radio Origin Stories and Trading Drama Classes for BBC Toast
13:53 – Fired From Capital Radio: The Demise of the 2004 Playlist
14:37 – Looking Out at the Aberdeen Museum of Steak while Evanescence Plays
15:24 – Welcome to Funch: The 18-to-24 Female Focus Group Disaster
16:49 – Chatting Rubbish vs. Real Work: Melvin’s Mum the Dementia Care Worker
17:36 – Demanding Jollof Rice and Chicken
18:00 – Sarah Breaks Down the 2009 Kiss Breakfast Sony Radio Silver Award
18:48 – Dick and Dom Bungalow Memories and Bleeding Love on a Miniature Guitar
19:57 – The Nose-Flute Solo Experiment
22:02 – Steve Wright’s The Slammer and Getting Your Foot on the Rung via Free Toast
23:03 – Strictly Christmas Revenge and Scored Minuses on House of Games
24:16 – Celebrity Take Me Out Lift Entrances and a Fake Date at a Holborn Bowling Alley
25:27 – E4’s My Hotter Half: Using Mood Lighting to Make Over Ugly Couples
26:12 – Naked Attraction Musings: Releasing Inhibitions and Boosting Ratings
27:42 – SUV Entrances on Traitors and Marvin Humes’ Jungle Eating Warnings
29:32 – GK Barry Pulls Out of the Show to Go to the Brit Awards
30:18 – Gifting a Best Single Brit Award to an Incredibly Beautiful James Blunt
31:12 – Rick Rubin's Hamburg Cutlery Shop Memory: Paul McCartney’s Missing Spoons
32:00 – Making a Clack-Clack Sound on Cherry Bakewell with German Forks
33:07 – Firefighting: Welcoming Daniel Capon (The D-Man) from Southwark
33:38 – Surviving the 24-Hour Operational Officer Shift Patterns
34:06 – Dispelling Misconceptions: 20,000 Fires vs. 56,000 Special Services
34:38 – The Ultimate London Fire Brigade Statistic: Exactly Five Cats Rescued from Trees
35:27 – Dripping Radiators and Calling 999 Because the Gardener Smashed a Window
36:58 – Modern Prevention Safety: Utilizing Free Station Community Rooms
38:39 – The Nature of Big Red Toolboxes and Fixing Things by Default
39:22 – Cooking Left Unattended: The Demise of the 1970s Damp Tea Towel Protocol
40:48 – Sixty-Second Station Mobilization and the Speed Efficiency of the Fire Pole
41:08 – Harry’s 1976 Maidstone Scout Firefighter Badge Strike Trauma
42:31 – Lithium-Ion Charge Safe Campaigns: The E-Bike Battery Threat
43:22 – Containing Black Smoke Inhalation by Keeping Property Doors Firmly Closed
44:39 – The Unsung Heroes of the LFB Control Room Network
47:05 – Heartwarming and Heartbreaking Families: Working a 30-Year Career
48:34 – Online Home Fire Safety Checkers for Vulnerable London Residents
50:14 – GAME TIME: "What is the Velcro Singing?!"
51:36 – Mistaking Leona Lewis for Little Mix Black Magic and Only Fools and Horses
53:22 – Gary’s Joke Corner (Melvin’s Historic Desmond’s Impression)
55:19 – Old African Sayings: Itchy Bums, Smelly Fingers, and Schoolyard Training
55:34 – Butterfly In Blue Jeans

"Melvin Odoom" by Wikipedia contributors, used under CC BY-SA 4.0. Derived from the Wikipedia article on Melvin Odoom. / This work is licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0.
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In this week’s episode of the Podscarf we welcome English stand-up comedian Angela Barnes and Tudor historian Adam Pennington to the studio for an hour of pure, unadulterated high-street nostalgia and medieval gore.

Angela reveals how she used to operate as a suitcase-wielding, bootleg DVD library out of her dad's Great Yarmouth sex shop, and find out why the internal gases of King Henry VIII caused him to literally pop inside his own coffin.

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00:00 – Gary's Basement Eggs and the Over-Tight Costume Crisis
00:19 – Formulating a £30 "Corned Beef Spam Nut" Kit for Nostalgic Pensioners
03:30 – Licky the Mascot Gives an Extravagant Face-Licking to a Married Woman
05:11 – Turning 50: The 1970s Nuclear Survival Kit Tobacco Tin Lore
06:39 – Waking Up to the Casualty Theme Tune
08:12 – Phoning in the "Angst" Tour and Saving a Life with The Archers
09:51 – Podcasting for "Young" Pensioners and Failing to Sing Like Jeremy Hardy
10:33 – Outsourcing Our Brains to Siri until We Become Sofa Blobs
11:43 – Sarah the AI Bot Summons the Medway Posse and Bigs up Chatham
13:20 – The Maidstone Anthem: Sex Shops, Golden Boots, and Prison Walls
14:40 – High Street Slander
15:22 – Checkers Model Shops and the Measurement Machines of the Golden Boot
16:28 – The Stoned Anagram and Wes Anderson's Secret Mansion in Basted
17:46 – The Caravan-Enthusiast, Naturist, Swinger Sex Shop Dad
18:20 – Sharing the Pre-Streaming Suitcase Bootlegs Like the Original Pornhub
19:22 – Amateur Dramatics as the Comic Fat Girl and Sudden Bereavement at 60
20:21 – Emceeing Jack Skipper’s First Ever Jill Edwards Comedy Showcase
21:13 – The Five-Day House of Games Sweep and Facing Social Media Trolls
23:08– ADHD Hyperactivity and the Sussex University Synesthesia Study
26:41 – The 19-Year-Old Brain Connection Realization and 10 Minutes of Stand-Up Material
27:35 – Ad Break: Regency Foods Present Princess Anne Molds and complimentary Cremation
29:19 – Adam Pennington Explains the Desperate Male Heir Mania of the Tudors
30:39 – Holbein Portraits, Breaking the Papacy, and Banishing Catholics From Succession
31:41 – A 400-Pound King Whose Gammy Leg Smelt From Three Rooms Away
32:08 – Jude Law Spraying Feces, Pus, and Blood Perfume All Over the Firebrand Set
32:48 – Illegitimate Lancastrians, Princes in the Tower, and the Game of Thrones War
34:30 – Tenuous Bloodlines: How 78% of Britons Are Descended From William the Conqueror
35:22 – Royal Imposter Syndrome and Beheading the Remaining Plantagenets
36:19 – Whispering Chromosome Irony Into the Beheaded Ear of Anne Boleyn's Legacy
38:00 – Fastidious Manners, Six-Foot-Three Strapping Youth, and Monastic Dissolution
39:33 – Hiring a Sword Executioner Before Anne Boleyn Even Went to Trial
40:27 – Heavy Petting in the Mid-50s: Catherine Howard and Jane Boleyn's Shared Fate
41:25 – Knighting a Sirloin Steak and Hanging Out at Hever Castle
42:26 – Ulcerated Leg Pain and Popping Open via Internal Coffin Gases
44:08– Sarcophagus Re-Gifting and the 11-Strike Axe Horror of Margaret Pole
45:10– QUIZZITY QUIZ:
53:08 – Gary’s Joke Corner
54:57 – Butterfly In Blue Jeans

"Angela Barnes" by Wikipedia contributors, used under CC BY-SA 4.0. Derived from the Wikipedia article on Angela Barnes. / This work is licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0.
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TAKE IT OFF! TAKE IF OFF!

We're back. This week, Harry is joined by comedian, television presenter, and incredibly good-looking man Joel Dommett!

Harry relives the claustrophobic nightmare of performing inside a giant furry suit on The Masked Singer (which he only did because Joel told him it would be "fun" ), and explains how he almost had a heart attack dressed as a Red Panda.

Meanwhile, Joel reminisces about his teenage nu-metal band and the importance of a silent p.

Friend of the Vodscarf, Professor Chris Lintott drops by to explain why Venus is an acidic holiday hellhole.

00:09 - Giant Eggs in the Basement
01:15 - Behind the Scenes of The Masked Singer with Red Panda
02:58 - Harry’s Secret Vocal Coaching & Professional Singing Defenses
04:10 - The Ridiculous Secrecy: Hoodies, Visors, and Secret Cars
05:06 - The Great Sloth Pronunciation Debate
06:10 - Sixty-One and Dressed as a Red Panda: Harry’s Near-Death Experience
07:50 - Human Chemistry vs. Thirsty AI Bots
09:00 - Sarah the AI Bot Welcomes
09:10 - The Last Days of Rome: Joel and Harry Dissect the National TV Awards
10:04 - Trevor McDonald: The Comedy Killer
12:37 - Angela Barnes Thinks Joel Is Too Good-Looking for Comedy
13:58 - Joel's Nu-Metal Days
14:48 - Crowd-Surfing at Your Own Funeral
16:48 - The True Cost of Australia: Extra Camp Logistics
17:28 - Joel’s Bristolian Acting Masterclass: Crashing Cars in Casualty
18:36 - Former Doctor Harry Hill Wants a Guest Spot on Holby City
19:34 - Tea, Biscuits, and Private Hospital Pillow Requests
20:34 - Harry’s Mum Gets Knocked Down Dressed as a Keyboard
22:36 - Regency Television Presents: Trevor McDonald Live From the Albert Hall
24:33 - Theme of the Week: Venus (with Professor Chris Lintott)
25:48 - Why Venus Is the Absolute Worst Vacation Spot in the Solar System
27:19 - Lazy Astronomy: Stargazing From the Middle of London
27:52 - Active Volcanoes and Being Bored on a Zoom Meeting
28:48 - Sulfuric Acid, Flying Penguins, and the Runaway Greenhouse Effect
31:14 - Venus: The Solar System's Monthly Service Station
33:02 - The Planet of Love: Mythological Names and Diseases
34:32 - The French Balloon Plan & Melted Russian Probes
36:09 - Harry’s Dark Baby Joke That Never Lands
37:35 - The Grand Finale: Celebrity Name the Seed!
40:25 - The High-Stakes Guess: Britney Spears on a Chair vs. Joel’s Wife
43:27 - Gary’s Joke Corner
45:11 - Butterfly in Blue Jeans

"Joel Dommett" by Wikipedia contributors, used under CC BY-SA 4.0. Derived from the Wikipedia article on Joel Dommett. / This work is licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0."
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In this week’s episode of the Podscarf we welcome Welsh comedic force Kiri Pritchard-McLean (who was spotted on a train trying to ignore Harry by aggressively speaking Welsh ) and University of Kent Music Hall expert Oliver Double to the studio for an hour of pure, unadulterated historical bawdiness and skincare science.

Things get incredibly weird, incredibly fast. Watch as Kiri tries to navigate an absolute safeguarding nightmare involving Harry's fictional heir, Gary, and his filthy collar , witness Harry deliver his highly detailed skincare routine and we see the return of the ANDY BURNHAM.

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00:00 – The Danbury Mint x Christian Labuta Flamboyant Shoe Collab
01:09 – The Cardiff-Glasgow Train Stalking Incident
02:59 – Fostering, Permaculture, and the "Angle Grinder" Dating App
04:20 – Licky the Mascot gets way too close to Kiri’s hair
05:49 – Chilling Deep Relationships with Chat GPT Therapists
07:09 – The Andy Burnham Dance
08:39 – Sarah the AI Bot offends the entire nation of Wales
09:32 – Dark History: The English Academics and the Block of Wood
10:22 – Sarah’s Biographical Slander: "Gloucester Born?!"
11:28 – The Vagaries of Animal Welfare Charities and Indoor Toilets
13:55 – Fart-powered Permaculture and Burning Your Own Effluent
15:23 – Harry’s Hyper-Intense 12-Step Korean Skincare Regime
16:38 – The Musty Flannel Incident ("Stop it mum, I can't breathe!")
17:09 – A Plant-Based Crisis: Sarah hands a Vegan a Twix bar
18:20 – Caroline Aherne being naughty in a cab
22:20 – Theme Of The Week: Music Hall
26:40 – Charles Morton’s Canterbury Trick and the Shape of the Hackney Empire
27:57 – The Dignitas Reunion Dinner Incident (A Dignitary falls off the stage)
31:23 – Little Titch: Six-fingered Mittens and Big Boot Dancing
33:10 – Royal Variety Scandal: Queen Mary hides from a woman in trousers
34:29 – Sweating on stage with the Spice Girls and Jim Davidson in 1997
35:54 – Fanning Dad with a Kipper: The DNA of Early Stand-up Comedy
38:20 – Mechanical Funnels and the Financial Collapse of Wet Money
41:04 – The Glasgow Empire: Graveyard of English Comics and Fake Fainting
44:22 – John Major's Dad and the Great Music Hall War of 1907
46:04 – Joan Rhodes: Bending Steel, Tearing Phone Books, and Dominating at Scrabble
47:11 – Celebrity Name the Seed!
52:38 – Gary’s Joke Corner
55:20 – Butterfly In Blue Jeans

"Kiri Pritchard McLean" by Wikipedia contributors, used under CC BY-SA 4.0. Derived from the Wikipedia article on Kiri Pritchard McLean. / This work is licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0."
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