Lowkey Chaotic

This conversation is rooted in my perspective as someone who was lucky enough to be born and live in a country where women have basic rights. But there are millions of women around the world who still don’t.

If you’d like to support organizations working to change that:

Malala Fund — https://malala.org
Equality Now — https://www.equalitynow.org

A reflective episode about sobriety, escapism, and the slow journey towards self-love. I share my experience quitting weed after eight years, my relationship with alcohol, and how my understanding of discipline and self-respect has evolved over the past two and a half years.

This is a conversation about how, during sex, women often perform pleasure, comfort, and emotional regulation, while men perform control, composure, and stamina - roles shaped by culture, language, and expectation.
We talk about performance vs presence, the aggressive language we use to describe sex, emotional labor during intimacy, and the feeling of being an experience instead of sharing one.

I didn’t stay because I was stupid. I stayed because the pain and relief cycle is addictive. A raw conversation about abuse, self-abandonment, and choosing someone else over yourself again and again.

I feel rejected all the time. Not just when the guy i caught feelings for ends things. Also when someone texts me with a dry tone. Or doesn’t reply. And it feels embarrassing to have such big feelings about such small things. So let’s unpack rejection.