Dear Sugars

This episode was originally released on May 25th, 2018.

When two women in their sixties start losing interest in sex, their sex-starved partners become increasingly frustrated. Both women blame old age for their waning libidos. But is their diminished sex drive because of age or something else?

The erotic lives of senior citizens are typically made invisible by our culture, which can lead to confusion and misinformation. Dr. Pepper Schwartz, the love and relationship columnist for AARP, joins the Sugars to dispel certain myths about sex and aging: Do libidos change after menopause? How does the aging body affect the way we feel about sex? Should medical interventions be considered for a declining sex drive?

Dr. Schwartz is a professor of sociology at the University of Washington and has written more than 25 books on love and sexuality. She’s also an on-air expert for Lifetime TV’s “Married at First Sight.”
The Sugars Recommend

“Our Souls at Night,” by Kent Haruf

“Scary Old Sex,” by Arlene Heyman

Seventeen-year-old “Struggling” had big dreams to leave his small town, but his living situation was at risk because he couldn’t stop using drugs. A letter writer who called herself “Bad Mom” loved her children, but could no longer bear the demands of motherhood. Both desperately needed to transform their lives.

In today’s update episode, we check in with some of our most memorable letter writers from previous episodes. The Sugars find out if “Struggling” was kicked out of his mother’s house, and they give “Bad Mom” a call to see if and how her views of motherhood have changed since hearing the Sugars’ advice more than two years ago.

This episode was originally published on January 27th, 2018.
The Sugars Recommend

Catcher in the Rye by J.D. Salinger
Archaic Torso of Apollo by Rainer Maria Rilke

This episode was originally released on September 9, 2016. 

In this favorite episode from the archives, The Sugars bring you another "Rapid Fire" episode, where they give brief answers to a handful of letters that are all centered around a theme. The theme for this episode is "stay or go" -- people who have a voice in their head telling them to leave their relationship, but who aren't sure it's the right move.

This episode was originally released September 23rd, 2016.

The Sugars often discuss letters dealing with very specific problems or struggles. In this encore episode, they take on a broader, more existential question: how to follow your heart. The Sugars discuss with the GRAMMY-winning singer/songwriter India Arie, who shares how she learned to be her own guide.

This episode was originally published on August 26th, 2017.

In this episode, adventures in animal ownership! The Sugars, along with Julie Barton — author of the memoir Dog Medicine: How My Dog Saved Me From Myself — answer letters about pet dilemmas and the ways these creatures affect human relationships.