Playing in Polarizations
Polarization & PlayPolarization (def)—division into two sharply contrasting groups, sets of opinions or beliefs. When we stop seeing similarity or what is shared, but only see difference. When difference becomes a threat.Play (def)— to engage in something for enjoyment or for sport. Be cooperative. Try something out.I want to say, we are living in a polarized time. But I find myself questioning each word. I look for polarization and find it in my social media feed, in the news, in my own inner dialogue —as certain views and opinions claim their rightness about what I should or should not do, believe or say.But, I don’t see such polarization in the setting sun, the migrating monarch butterfly who is sitting on this sunflower, here in my front garden. It seems like the monarch, the sun, the sky and serenading cicadas are not so concerned with the rifts of mind or media feed.Is it disrespectful to place play near the gravity of polarization, when Webster warns that play has nothing to do with serious things and when politicians are using words like “civil war?”Play is actually an important quality for awakening, for living in divisiveness—for it is an invitation to bring curiosity to righteousness, shame spirals, fear loops and the other players in polarized thinking.Play as LiberationThe play I want to invite is the play of liberation. The play that is invoked in the Mahayana Sutra of Vimalakirti. A sutra that emerged in an in-between-time in Buddhist history. Where there were forces in power who believed they had the “right” teachings, the correct practices to transcend this painful world of suffering and enter nirvana.Yet another view was emerging right in the midst of the dominant one. A view that seemed to turn the whole tradition on its head. A view, a practice, a teaching that pointed to the profound path of liberation that could be recognized by seeing through all views—awakening to the empty-yet-apparent nature of all form and concept. This view pointed to a liberation that was based in the direct experience of interdependence, where no one is separate from anyone else—where this world and this body are the place and vehicle for living an awakened life. This was the emergence of the way of the bodhisattva.An Extraordinary ImprobabilityThe teaching came through a sick man living the life of a householder in India. His name was Vimalakirti and was considered a great bodhisattva and teacher of the non-dual way. When asked why he was sick Vimalakirti replied: “I am sick, because the world is sick.”Joan Sutherland in her book Vimalakirti and The Awakened Heart says this about the Bodhisattva. “Vimalakirti embodies a number of provocative dualities in addition to being a sick bodhisattva: he’s a rich man who gives all of his money to the poor, someone who lives among family, but remains solitary, has children and frequents brothels but remains celibate, goes to bars, but doesn’t get drunk…The koans speak of him as an extraordinary improbability.”The sutra in its in-between-ness is considered a precursor to both the koan tradition of Chan and the tantric tradition of the Vajrayana. The sutra has well-known characters from the Buddhist pantheon such as the elder monk Shariputra and the Bodhisattva Manjushri engaging in discourse with this layman Vimalakirti and the goddess who happens to live in his room completely unseen until the middle of the story.The Goddess’s TransformationsAt some point in the story the goddess makes her appearance, and we are told that she had always been there (another nod to the incipient koan tradition: how can someone who has always been here, appear?)As she appears flowers rain down, falling to the feet of the Bodhisattvas but sticking to the robes of the elder monks. Shariputra is quite disturbed by this flower affixing itself to his robe—he has made a vow not to adorn himself with the fragrance and flamboyance of a flower.The goddess engages him here, asking him to show her the nature of flowerness.Their conversation spans topics such as the nature of self-obsession and liberation, before Shariputra asks the goddess why she continues to be a woman, when surely being male would be preferable for she would have a chance at liberation.This opens up a dialogue captured in Case 58 of the Hidden Lamp“I have looked for the innate characteristics of the female form to no avail. How can I change them? If a magician created the illusion of a woman, would you ask her, “Why don’t you transform yourself out of your female state?”Shariputra replied, “No. Such a woman would not really exist, so what would there be to transform?”She said, “Just so. All things do not really exist, so how can you ask something that doesn’t exist to change its form?”Then the goddess, by supernatural power, changed Shariputra into a likeness of herself and changed herself into a likeness of Shariputra and asked, “Why don’t you transform yourself out of your female state?”Shariputra cried, “I no longer appear in the form of a male! My body has changed into a woman’s body! I don’t know what to transform!”She replied, “Just as you are not really a woman but appear to be female in form, all women appear to be female in form but are not really women. Therefore, Buddha said that all beings are not really women or men.”Then she changed Shariputra back into his own form and asked, “And where is your female form now?”My teacher Chozen Roshi writes the commentary to this case and opens saying: “Once someone asked me, “In India it is said that you cannot be enlightened it you are a woman. What does Zen say about this?” I answered, “In Zen practice we say that in order to be enlightened, you must become completely a woman, completely a man, both, and neither.”The Four Positions of PolarizationChozen’s response is an articulation of Rinzai’s four positions. It’s an expression of the flexibility of heart that we train in, in koan practice. It’s a practice for recognizing the empty-yet-apparent nature of all concepts and forms and unsticking from our habitual ways of seeing the world.What is it to be completely A, completely B, both and neither?This is something we can explore anytime we have a set of opposites or polarized parts of us. This could be explored in a conflict with another person, an inner conflict, as koan exploration or as dream/soul work.To use the koan above as an example, here is a step-by-step way you might explore the polarity of Shariputra and the Goddess. Feel free to journal, draw or move between these positions in a more embodied way. Or listen to the audio above for verbal guidance on these steps.* Let yourself inhabit the position of Shariputra and shift your position slightly to the right. This could be the part of us that wants to do it right, is disciplined, has a sense of the rules, feels self-righteous. Let yourself feel your inner Shariputra. What does it feel like in the body to want to do it right or to feel self-righteous? What feelings are you aware of? What fears or wants? If you could speak as Shariputra what would you say? Now let go of Shariputra and come back to center.* Now move to the left and let yourself inhabit the position of the Goddess. The Goddess is a more sensual part of us, she embodies prajna wisdom, playfulness, a certain kind of faith that all is OK. Let yourself feel your inner goddess. What does it feel like in your body to embody faith, sensuality, playfulness, prajna wisdom? What feelings are you aware of? Are there fears or wants? If you could speak as the goddess, what would you say? Now let go of the goddess and come back to center.* Now reconnect with both Shariputra and the goddess. Let yourself feel both of these parts in your body at once. Notice what it is like to have them both present—not needing to choose a side or be one or the other, just allowing both energies. What do you notice?* Now let them both go. You might energetically step back, or imagine emptying out. Be a hollow bamboo tube or empty space. Nothing you need to do, just rest in the after glow of the journey. Notice what you see from this perspective of being no one in particular.Take a moment to notice your breath, move your body, shake out or stretch and come back to the felt sense of your body right here and now. Ground in your senses. Thanks for trying on this practice! You might take a moment to journal about anything you noticed or simply feel what it feels like in your body now.In koan work as well as working with personal material, there are always layers to the exploration. We meet or become aware of what perspectives feel more familiar and which ones we are more averse to, afraid of or resistant to feeling. This is a training in holding views lightly and seeing into the nature of perspective/part. Sometimes in describing koan work teachers talk about “the third thing”, not either A or B, but C.This movement between being fully A, fully B, both and neither allows new perspectives to emerge. It allows us to move more freely though the spectrum of being and to appreciate the flexibility of our open hearts. When I do IFS with clients, we often discover that the parts of us that seem polarized, often want the same thing for us—they just have really different strategies or beliefs about how to get it. To see this, often awakens openness + compassion—a third thing—which allows for transformation and healing.This practice is practical and mysterious—its an invitation to play in the mystery of being and to stay open to the possibility that exists within apparent polarities.I’m Amy Kisei. I am a Zen Buddhist Teacher, Spiritual Counselor, Astrologer and Artist. I offer 1:1 Spiritual Counseling sessions using IFS and Hakomi (somatic mindfulness). I also offer astrology readings. Check out my website to learn more. I currently live in Columbus, OH and am a supporting teacher for the Mud Lotus Sangha.I currently have a few openings in my Spiritual Counseling practice for the Fall. I offer a four-session intro package for $250.Weekly Online Meditation EventMonday Night Dharma — 6P PT / 9P ET Join weekly for drop-in meditation and dharma talk. This is where the Summer Read is happening if you want to join the discussion and practice live. Schedule here.Feel free to join anytime. Event lasts about 1.5 hours. ZOOM LINKIn-Person in Columbus, Ohio through Mud Lotus SanghaWeekly Meditations on Tuesday, Wednesday and ThursdayRetreats, Meditation instruction and other events can be found on our website. This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit amykisei.substack.com/subscribe
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