Critical Magic Theory: An Analytical Harry Potter Podcast

• Caretaker, Friend, Scapegoat: The Rubeus Hagrid Story

  This is not just a story about a lovable half-giant. It is a story about the monsters society teaches us to see—and the people we discard because they fit that image.In this episode of Critical Magic Theory, Professor Julian Wamble unpacks the complicated legacy of Rubeus Hagrid, part giant, full heart, and perhaps the most beloved yet overlooked character in the series. We follow Hagrid through the lens of his contradictions: too old to be their friend, too kind to be safe, too visible to ever truly belong.Drawing on survey responses and the brilliant minds of some of the Chronic Overthinkers, we explore whether Hagrid is a good teacher, a good friend, and a good Gryffindor. But most powerfully, we reframe Hagrid not just as a gentle presence, but as a case study in how society scapegoats those whose bodies do not conform to the norms of safety and power.A special thanks to Mayelin and Callie for joining the ranks of our Patreon Deep Divers

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  1:21:40
• Prof Responds- The Umbridge Trap

  On this Prof Responds episode of Critical Magic Theory, Professor Julian Wamble returns to the woman in pink—Dolores Jane Umbridge—to unpack the powerful and sometimes uncomfortable insights raised in the post-episode chat. Why do we hate her so much? Why do we enjoy hating her? And more importantly, what does our hatred reveal about how we understand femininity, power, and punishment? From the now-infamous “Umbridge vs. Voldemort” debate to the cultural thrill of watching a woman fall, this episode explores how systemic evil rewards obedience, how white womanhood can become a weapon, and how JK Rowling might’ve set a trap we were all too happy to walk into. As always, Professor Wamble gets personal, gets political, and yes—gets musical. The BOP is back. And so is the reflection you did not see coming.

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  42:39
• The Devil Wears Pink: The Violence, Villainy, and Vanity of Dolores Umbridge

  On this episode of Critical Magic Theory, Professor Julian Wamble dives into the soft-voiced, hard-hearted horror that is Dolores Jane Umbridge. She may wear kitten brooches and speak in syrupy tones, but beneath the pink cardigan lies one of the most insidious villains in the Wizarding World. We unpack the bureaucratic brutality behind her blood quill, the weaponization of femininity, and why her brand of evil—quiet, sanctioned, and system-approved-hits closer to home than Voldemort’s chaos ever could. Why do we hate her so much? Is it what she does—or the fact that we recognize her? And what does her rise say about the structures that reward cruelty wrapped in civility?

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  1:07:05
• Prof Responds- Gilderoy Lockhart: Ravenclaw or Ravenfraud?

  In this Prof Responds episode of Critical Magic Theory, Professor Julian Wamble dives into the dazzling disaster that is Gilderoy Lockhart—our favorite fame-chasing fraud.From his misuse of memory charms to his obsession with applause over competence, this episode unpacks your brilliant post-episode chat insights and tackles the deeper themes of image, power, and performance. Is Lockhart just a punchline, or is he something more sinister? What does his pretty privilege reveal about the Wizarding World’s gullibility? And most importantly, is he actually a good Ravenclaw? Along the way, we explore the ethics of memory charms (spoiler: it’s dark), compare Lockhart’s influence to real-world influencers and tech bros, and ask what villainy looks like when it’s hiding behind great hair and a charming smile. Lockhart may be incompetent in some ways, but as this episode reveals—he’s dangerously good at playing dumb.

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  46:17
• Fame Is a Fickle Fraud: Here Lies Gilderoy Lockhart

  What would you do to be remembered?This week on Critical Magic Theory, Professor Julian Wamble dives deep into the shimmering shallows of Gilderoy Lockhart—a man so desperate for legacy, he obliterated others’ lives just to make space for his own myth. From vanity and fraudulence to memory charms and moral delusion, we interrogate what happens when someone builds their identity entirely on lies—and worse, starts believing them.Is Lockhart a villain? A bad Ravenclaw? Just a glorified PR stunt with good hair? Join us as we unpack the performance of fame, the ethics of memory, and why silence might be the most dangerous thing of all. Also: Beyoncé, colonialism, and why Lockhart’s story might be the Wizarding World’s most damning metaphor.Special thanks to our new Patreon Deep Diver: Grace

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  1:04:09

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