Ep 17: What Happens When Dads are Put in Charge? With Dr Marte Bergan
Check out Marte’s full thesis here:
https://ora.ox.ac.uk/objects/uuid:800e3289-08ad-449f-a00d-f5da87f1100d
You help make some similar changes to our parental leave system by getting involved with The Dad Shift www.dadshift.org.uk
Please follow me on Instagram and TikTok @beahappierparent
Keywords
gender equality, Norway, parental leave, daddy quota, family dynamics, cultural values, work-life balance, childcare, feminism, societal norms
Summary
In this conversation, Marte discusses the cultural and governmental factors that have shaped gender equality in Norway, particularly in relation to parental leave policies and the daddy quota. The discussion explores the evolving roles of fathers in childcare, the dynamics of resentment in relationships, and the long-term impacts of these policies on family life. Marte emphasizes the importance of shared responsibilities and the need for societal change to foster a more egalitarian approach to parenting and work-life balance.
Takeaways
Gender equality is deeply embedded in Norwegian culture.
Government policies have played a crucial role in promoting gender equality.
The daddy quota encourages fathers to take an active role in childcare.
Cultural values in Norway prioritize family time and work-life balance.
Mothers often retain the managerial role in family dynamics.
Resentment can arise from unequal distribution of parenting responsibilities.
Parental leave policies impact long-term family relationships.
Fathers in Norway are seen as experts in childcare due to their involvement.
The corporate culture in Norway supports flexible working hours for both parents.
Societal norms need to evolve to support shared parenting responsibilities.
Titles
Exploring Gender Equality in Norway
The Impact of the Daddy Quota
Sound bites
"It's in our national DNA."
"We value family time."
"It's use it or lose it."
Chapters
00:00 Cultural Foundations of Parenthood
04:03 The Daddy Quota: A Game Changer
06:55 Work-Life Balance in Norway vs. the UK
08:37 The Impact of Gender Roles on Parenting
11:06 Men's Perspectives on Parenting and Work
13:35 Long-Term Effects of Parental Leave Policies
16:09 The Importance of Shared Responsibilities
19:03 Conclusions and Future Directions
31:42 Work-Life Balance in Norway vs. the UK
34:45 Resentment in Parenting Roles
36:51 Judgment and Gender Expectations
40:53 Redefining Parenting Roles
45:56 The Manager vs. Expert Dynamic
49:57 Cultural Shifts in Parenting
52:43 The System of Gendered Parenting
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Ep 16: How Not to Hate Your Partner with Jancee Dunn
Find me on Instagram and TikTok @beahappierparent
Summary
In this conversation, Jancee Dunn shares her experiences navigating the complexities of marriage and parenthood, highlighting the unexpected challenges that arise when transitioning into parenthood. She discusses the importance of communication, the impact of societal expectations on relationships, and the necessity of seeking help through couples therapy. Dunn emphasizes the need for clarity in roles and responsibilities, as well as the importance of reconnecting with one's partner after having children. The conversation also touches on the challenges of maintaining intimacy and the emotional toll of parenting on relationships.
Chapters
00:00 Communication Breakdown in Relationships
07:42 The Asymmetry of Communication Between Genders
10:21 Understanding Stonewalling and Its Effects
16:19 The Role of Empathy in Conflict Resolution
18:14 Seeking Help: The Journey to Therapy
24:30 Terry Real's Tough Love Approach
30:39 The Impact of Parental Conflict on Children
32:20 Breaking the Cycle of Anger
33:13 Understanding Communication in Relationships
33:58 Reconnecting as Partners
34:53 Navigating the Transition to Empty Nest
35:48 Establishing Systems for Relationship Health
37:30 The Importance of Date Nights
38:56 Mindfulness in Parenting and Relationships
42:51 The Impact of Sensuality on Intimacy
43:49 The Work Behind a Healthy Sex Life
47:51 Resentment and Connection in Relationships
51:29 Preparing for Parenthood
53:31 The Division of Labor in Parenting
56:03 Negotiation and Clarity in Relationships
56:53 The Power Imbalance in Relationships
Keywords
parenthood, relationships, communication, couples therapy, intimacy, family dynamics, conflict resolution, marriage, parenting challenges, emotional connection
Takeaways
We were one of those annoying couples who rarely fought.
You don't know until it happens how your life is going to completely turn upside down.
We passed it, but not us.
There's something taboo about this fighting that goes on behind closed doors.
I would expect him to read my mind.
It's not taking a break. It's punitive.
You can't talk to him like that.
What are you giving to the relationship?
You have to learn to negotiate.
It's comforting to know a lot of us are going through this.
Titles
Navigating Parenthood: The Realities of Marriage
Communication in Relationships: The Key to Connection
Sound Bites
"We passed it, but not us."
"You can't talk to him like that."
"You have to learn to negotiate."
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Ep 15: Teenagers and the Wonder and Delight of Uncertainty with Rachel Kelly
You can find Rachel on https://rachel-kelly.net/
Follow me on Instagram @beahappierparent
Summary
In this conversation, Rachel Kelly discusses the complexities of parenting teenagers, emphasizing the importance of self-relationship, connection, and understanding. She explores how parents can navigate their own needs while fostering autonomy in their children, the illusion of control, and the impact of societal expectations on parenting. The dialogue highlights the significance of compassion, judgment, and the evolving nature of parent-child relationships as children grow into adulthood.
Takeaways
Your main relationship is with yourself.
Connecting with teenagers requires understanding and compassion.
Parents must navigate their own needs while supporting their children.
The illusion of control can hinder relationships with teenagers.
Managing expectations and anxiety is crucial in parenting.
Embracing differences and individuality fosters connection.
Judgment can be detrimental; compassion is key.
The parent-child relationship evolves as children grow.
Supporting children means assisting, not rescuing them.
Parenting becomes more rewarding as children mature.
Keywords
parenting, teenagers, self-relationship, connection, control, anxiety, compassion, individuality, judgment, growth
Chapters
00:00 Introduction and Personal Connections
04:20 Emotional Regulation and Connection
05:32 The Evolution of Parent-Teen Relationships
06:43 Letting Go of Control
09:30 The Shift in Parenting Dynamics
10:19 Practical Strategies for Better Communication
12:41 Expectations and Reality in Family Life
15:51 The Importance of Timing in Conversations
18:28 Nutrition and Well-being for Teenagers
24:53 Navigating Parenting Challenges
26:58 Understanding Anxiety in Parenting
29:29 The Gendered Anxiety Gap
33:43 Embracing Uncertainty in Parenting
37:54 Judgment and Compassion in Parenting
42:10 The Importance of Connection
45:06 Redefining Pride and Agency in Parenting
51:24 The Evolving Parent-Child Relationship
Titles
Navigating the Teenage Years: A Parent's Guide
The Art of Connection: Parenting Teens
Sound Bites
"We want to connect, right?"
"What else could be possible?"
"You can learn and grow."
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Ep 14: Get Better at Being Angry with Sam Parker
You can find Sam on Substack @goodanger and Instagram @samparkeruk
You can find me on Instagram and TikTok @beahappierparent and full videos of these episodes are available on Youtube @alexindadland
Summary
This conversation delves into the complexities of anger, exploring its multifaceted nature, gender dynamics, and its role in relationships and parenting. The speakers discuss how societal norms shape our understanding of anger, the importance of expressing it in healthy ways, and the need for emotional awareness in both personal and professional contexts. They emphasize the significance of recognizing anger as a valid emotion that can lead to positive change when managed effectively.
Takeaways
Anger is a multifaceted emotion that can be both constructive and destructive.
Gender plays a significant role in how anger is perceived and expressed.
Healthy relationships require the ability to express anger and resolve conflicts.
Modeling healthy conflict resolution for children is crucial in parenting.
Anger in the workplace often goes unaddressed, leading to disengagement.
Somatic awareness can help individuals identify and process their anger.
Anger can serve as a signal for unmet needs and insecurities.
Trial and error is essential in learning how to manage anger effectively.
Understanding the body’s response to anger can enhance emotional intelligence.
Embracing anger as a natural emotion can lead to personal growth and healthier relationships.
Chapters
00:00 Understanding Anger: A Gendered Emotion
07:51 The Role of Anger in Parenting and Social Media
13:08 Rethinking Anger: Beyond Aggression and Violence
19:09 Anger as a Tool for Self-Discovery
24:00 Anger in Relationships: Navigating Conflict
30:11 Quiet Quitting: The Impact of Unexpressed Anger
36:11 The Complexity of Anger in Parenting
39:04 Modeling Healthy Conflict Resolution
42:02 Understanding Anger as a Primary Emotion
46:30 Anger: A Servant or a Master?
52:25 The Body's Role in Emotional Awareness
57:29 Integrating Body and Mind in Emotional Health
Titles
The Complexity of Anger: Understanding Its Role in Our Lives
Gender Dynamics of Anger: Who Gets to Express It?
Sound Bites
"Anger is a multifaceted emotion."
"Who gets to feel angry?"
"Anger at work is often avoided."
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Ep 13: Navigating Postnatal Depression with Sally Bunkham
You can find all the support PANDAS offer here: https://pandasfoundation.org.uk/
Please follow me on Instagram and TikTok @beahappierparent
In this conversation, Alex Trippier speaks with Sally from the Pandas Foundation about the complexities of parenting, mental health, and the challenges faced by parents, particularly those dealing with autism. They explore the emotional struggles of new parents, the realities of postnatal depression, and the importance of support systems. The discussion also touches on the unique experiences of fathers and the dynamics of family relationships, emphasizing the need for open communication and understanding in navigating these challenges.
Chapters
00:00 New Chapter
02:57 The Impact of the Pandemic on Mental Health Services
03:51 Personal Journey: Sally's Experience with Motherhood
09:19 Navigating Relationships During Parenting Challenges
15:24 Seeking Help: The Importance of Support Services
20:16 Understanding Mental Health: Labels and Misconceptions
25:00 The Role of Communication in Relationships
25:58 New Rock bottom
26:32 Sleeping and anonymity
30:37 Modern Support: Technology and Accessibility in Mental Health
32:31 Building Relationships Through Support Services
33:31 Dads and Mental Health: Breaking the Stigma
36:27 Navigating Trauma and Anxiety in Parenthood
40:31 Understanding Autism: The Journey to Diagnosis
47:54 The Intersection of Autism and Parenting Challenges
56:03 Balancing Parenting Styles: Communication and Compromise
Takeaways
Parenting often differs greatly from expectations.
Mental health struggles are common among parents.
Postnatal depression is a serious issue that needs attention.
Support systems are crucial for parents' well-being.
Dads face unique mental health challenges during parenthood.
Autism presents specific parenting dynamics and challenges.
Open communication is key in relationships during parenting.
It's important to validate feelings of struggle and anxiety.
Navigating family expectations can be complex and stressful.
Finding balance in parenting responsibilities is essential.
Keywords
parenting, mental health, postnatal depression, autism, family dynamics, support, fatherhood, motherhood, emotional well-being, parenting challenges
Sound Bites
"Sally has two children with autism."
"How do we support each other as couples?"
"Autism's such a wide spectrum."
Why is there such a huge gap between what we think parenting is going to be like and what it actually is? Why when we have children do we think it’s going to bring us closer together but often it really pushes us apart? What are the jobs of mums and dads now? What’s a dad when we’re no longer just providers? What’s a mum when they often are? What am I supposed to teach or model for my children when I’ve no idea what the world is going to look like in five years time?
Why did my parents seem to have loads of conviction about these things and I have absolutely none? In this podcast I interview top authors, therapists, coaches and try and find out how the trials of parenting can help us become better humans.