Be a Happier Parent

• Ep 25: The Joy of the Juggle with Dolly Jones

  You can find Dolly on Instagram @dolly_jones Please follow me on Instagram @beahappierparent Keywords parenting, motherhood, working parents, guilt, empathy, relationships, self-validation, motherhood ideals, joy in parenting, communication   The joy of being a working parent is often overshadowed by guilt and societal expectations. Successful working mothers often feel a sense of pride and accomplishment despite challenges. Conversations about parenting in the workplace are often avoided, leading to feelings of isolation. Empathy is crucial in understanding the experiences of working parents, both men and women. Guilt can be a red flag indicating a need for change or self-care in parenting. The invisible work of parenting often goes unrecognized but is essential for family well-being. Clear communication about responsibilities can alleviate resentment in parenting partnerships. The relationship dynamics between partners can significantly impact parenting experiences. Finding joy in work and parenting can lead to a more fulfilling life. Summary In this conversation, Dolly Jones discusses her journey to writing a book about the experiences of working parents, particularly mothers. She explores the joys and challenges of balancing work and family life, the societal pressures and guilt that often accompany motherhood, and the importance of empathy and communication in navigating these complexities. The discussion highlights the invisible labor of parenting, the need for shared responsibilities, and the significance of finding joy in both work and parenting. Ultimately, the conversation emphasizes the commonalities among parents and the importance of supporting one another in this journey. Titles Navigating the Complexities of Modern Motherhood The Hidden Joys of Working Parenthood Sound bites "Guilt doesn't enter my head." "We need to talk about it more." "I get to go to work." Chapters 00:00 The Motivation Behind the Book 06:23 The Joys and Challenges of Working Parenthood 12:06 Empathy and Commonality in Parenting 17:36 The Guilt of Motherhood 23:24 Ending the Mother Wars 28:52 The Importance of Conversations in Parenting 34:22 The Joy of Work and Motherhood 36:11 The Guilt of Working Mothers 38:35 Childcare Choices and Societal Expectations 39:00 The School Bag Dilemma 43:49 Understanding Parental Responsibilities 47:40 Communication in Parenting 52:13 The Value of Caregiving 53:46 Identity and Motherhood

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• Ep 24: The Damaging Myth of the "Natural Mother" with Rose Stokes

  You can find more about Rose at rosestokes.co.uk Follow her on Instagram@rosestokes Find me on Instagram and TikTok @beahappierparent and YouTube @alexindadland Keywords parenthood, parenting, expectations, relationships, motherhood, fatherhood, identity, support, communication, growth Summary In this conversation, Alex and Rose explore the multifaceted journey of parenthood, discussing the challenges, expectations, and realities that come with raising children. They delve into the impact of societal pressures, the importance of trusting one's instincts, and the evolving dynamics between partners in parenting. The conversation highlights the significance of communication, compromise, and embracing imperfection in the parenting experience. Takeaways You don't truly understand parenthood until you experience it. The transition into parenthood is a long and complex process. Expectations from society can create unnecessary anxiety for new parents. Information overload can lead to guilt and confusion in parenting. Trusting your instincts is crucial in navigating parenthood. Parenting is a skill that develops over time through experience. Partners play a vital role in supporting each other during parenting. Communication and understanding between partners can alleviate pressure. It's important to embrace imperfection and learn from mistakes in parenting. Finding balance and compromise is essential for a healthy family dynamic. Titles The Realities of Parenthood Unveiled Navigating the Complexities of Parenting Sound bites "You don't get it until you get it." "It's a long thinking process." "We both do it together." Chapters 00:00 Navigating the Complexities of Motherhood 05:31 The Impact of Breastfeeding on Identity 14:01 The Emotional Journey of Parenting 19:59 Partner Dynamics in Parenting 24:34 Balancing Roles and Responsibilities 29:31 Imaginative Play: A Dad's Perspective 32:14 Navigating Parenting Expectations 35:02 The Overload of Parenting Information 36:54 Trusting Parental Instincts 38:44 The Dynamics of Partner Support 40:42 The Reality of Parenting Challenges 42:07 The Importance of Compromise in Parenting 44:48 The Struggles of Weight and Body Image 46:15 Communication and Conflict in Relationships 52:25 NEWCHAPTER

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• Ep 23: Can We Parent Without Shame? With Elisabeth Harrod

  Check out Elisabeth's website: https://www.purposeparenting.net/ Follow me on Instagram and TikTok @beahappier parent Full videos of Episodes available on YouTube @alexindadland Keywords parenting, emotional regulation, shame, child development, dads, moms, self-worth, mistakes, gender dynamics, coaching Summary In this conversation, Elisabeth and Alex explore the dynamics of parenting, particularly focusing on the unique challenges and perspectives of dads. They discuss the importance of emotional regulation, the impact of shame on parenting, and the necessity of allowing children to learn from their mistakes. The conversation also delves into gender dynamics in parenting roles and the significance of fostering self-worth in children, emphasizing the need for parents to support their children while also allowing them the space to grow and learn independently. Takeaways Elisabeth connects more easily with men than women. Parental expectations can create shame in children. Ending shame involves replacing it with acceptance. Emotional regulation is crucial for children. Parents often do too much for their children. Children need to learn from their mistakes. Gender dynamics influence parenting styles. Self-worth is essential for children's development. Parents' egos can be tied to their children's outcomes. Teaching children to solve their own problems fosters independence. Titles Connecting with Dads: A Unique Perspective Understanding Parental Expectations and Child Development Sound bites "I connect more easily with men." "This is creating shame." "You can do it." Chapters 00:00 Connecting with Dads: The Podcast Journey 06:04 Understanding Parenting Expectations and Shame 10:48 Collaborative Parenting: Meeting Children Where They Are 11:40 The Role of Shame in Parenting 16:25 Emotional Regulation: Teaching Kids to Express Feelings 21:36 Gender Differences in Emotional Expression 27:22 The Impact of Control on Children's Learning 31:13 Leveraging Children's Interests for Connection 32:33 The Reality of Parenting Expectations 34:54 Guilt, Shame, and the Dark Side of Parenting 36:00 Navigating Teenage Independence 41:34 The Balance of Nurturing and Independence 43:14 Fearless Parenting: Letting Go 46:28 The Role of Fathers in Parenting 47:38 Transitioning from Boys to Men 51:01 Empowering Problem Solving in Children 52:49 Navigating Shame and Self-Worth

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• Ep 22: What we ALL want for Christmas with Rachel Childs and Kate Mangino

  Don't worry it's not all about Christmas! Christmas is a great framework to discuss some really important issues. If you want to help with the amazing "Equalish" podcast, check out their crowd funding campaign, here: https://www.ifundwomen.com/projects/equal-ish-podcast Please follow me on Instagram and TikTok @beahappierparent Full vidoes of episodes available on YouTube @alexindadland Keywords gender roles, fatherhood, emotional labor, parenting, equality, family dynamics, holiday traditions, shame, guilt, identity Summary This conversation delves into the evolving roles of parents, particularly focusing on gender dynamics in parenting. The speakers discuss how traditional gender roles impact both men and women, the importance of open conversations before becoming parents, and the need for shared emotional labor in family dynamics. They explore the significance of creating joy during holidays and the challenges of breaking down societal norms and gatekeeping. The discussion also touches on the concepts of shame and guilt in parenting, emphasizing the need to redefine identities and scripts around parenthood. Takeaways Gender roles are often gendered and can hurt both men and women. The role of fathers has evolved significantly over the years. Conversations about parenting should start before the baby arrives. Emotional labor and cognitive tasks often fall disproportionately on one partner. Teaching boys to notice and participate in household tasks is crucial. Creating joy during holidays can enhance family connections. Mothers should feel empowered to take time away from home. Shame is tied to identity, while guilt is tied to actions. It's important to challenge and redefine parenting scripts. Parents should reflect on their values and identities regularly. Titles Redefining Parenthood: Gender Roles and Emotional Labor The Changing Face of Fatherhood Sound bites "Gender roles hurt men too." "Shame is tied to our identity." "Who do I want to be as a parent?" Chapters 00:00 Introduction to the Conversation 02:53 Exploring Gender Roles in Parenting 06:11 The Evolution of Fatherhood 06:21 The Importance of Shared Responsibilities 08:20 Cognitive and Emotional Labor in Households 11:28 The Role of Antenatal Programs 13:52 The Impact of Societal Expectations 16:43 The Concept of 'Noticing' in Parenting 18:58 Creating Joy During the Holidays 22:16 Navigating Family Dynamics at Christmas 24:52 Breaking Down Barriers to Equality 27:37 Conclusion and Reflections 29:19 The Dynamics of Gatekeeping and Power 31:40 Traditions and the Role of Women 33:16 Changing Family Dynamics and Emotional Labor 34:54 The Importance of Caregiving Roles 36:08 Building Relationships Through Shared Joy 39:24 The Challenge of Emotional Vulnerability in Parenting 43:53 Learning from Dads: The Value of Different Parenting Styles 45:25 Shame, Guilt, and Identity in Parenting

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• Ep 21: Strength, Grief and Trust with Dr Anna Whitwham

  We were discussing Anna's most recent book: "Soft Tissue Damage"  Also check out her novel: "Boxer Handsome" Follow me on TikTok and Instagram @beahappierparent and find videos of these episodes on YouTube @alexindadland Keywords masculinity, identity, vulnerability, shame, literature, parenting, relationships, emotional health, gender roles, self-discovery Summary In this conversation, Anna and Alex delve into the complexities of masculinity, exploring its constructs and representations in literature, the evolution of male identity, and the role of vulnerability and shame. They discuss the importance of female perspectives in understanding masculinity and the significance of building supportive networks for future generations. The dialogue emphasizes the need for emotional health and the impact of relationships on personal growth. Takeaways Identity is a construct, and masculinity can take many forms. Literature reflects the evolution of male identity over time. Vulnerability is a crucial aspect of masculinity. Shame can lead to destructive patterns of behavior. Care and support are essential in male friendships. Finding strength in vulnerability can lead to personal growth. Female perspectives are vital in understanding masculinity. Witnessing experiences is crucial for emotional health. Building a supportive network is important for children. The dynamics of female friendships differ from male friendships.  Titles The Many Faces of Masculinity Literary Reflections on Male Identity Sound bites "Identity is construct, right?" "You have to learn not to fight." "This is a book about healing." Chapters 00:00 Exploring Masculinity in Literature 04:31 The Evolution of Male Protagonists 07:20 The Impact of War on Masculinity 10:10 Shame and Vulnerability in Men 13:00 The Role of Alcohol in Masculine Identity 15:54 Understanding Shame and Forgiveness 18:02 The Gendered Experience of Shame 21:04 Parenting and Masculinity 23:33 The Intersection of Boxing and Identity 26:24 Navigating Relationships and Violence 28:08 The Journey of Self-Discovery through Sport 35:28 The Comfort of Kebab and Vulnerability 36:10 The Female Perspective on Masculinity 38:35 Conversations on Care and Masculinity 40:53 Healing Through Boxing and Loss 43:19 Understanding Aging and Care 46:41 The Role of Witnessing in Relationships 49:26 Navigating Mortality and Parenthood 52:42 The Dynamics of Female Friendships 54:55 Blending Families and Modern Relationships 54:55 Introduction to Soft Tissue Damage 54:55 Exploring Anna Witwam's Works

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